Grandchild pawn
So...last night my hubby came home distressed. I figured it was due to working overtime, but no. He got a text on his ride home that if he wanted to see his 4and a half month old granddaughter that he could go last night to his parents house as they were babysitting her overnight. Now mind you...great grandma had a hip replaced in May and is still hobbling around. Great grandpa had a pacemaker put in less than a week ago. Great grandpa is legally blind as is great aunt who lives in the same house. Other than auntie no one can bend and lift in the house...but SD skipped asking us to babysit and went right to them. AFTER she had made it a big production at her daddy's birthday to ask if he would babysit sometimes. His answer was then was that it would be better in a couple weeks when I am off work for the summer. He goes in at 530a.m. So figure being up all night with a baby that doesn't sleep well is going to come to me. Obviously that was an incorrect answer. I just hate continually seeing my hubby hurt by this inconsiderate, manipulative behavior. It always seems to come as a surprise or at least we didn't expect her to do that.
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My husband and I are
My husband and I are emotionally detached from the grandkids. Sounds bad, I know, it's just the way it is. Sad part is, my husband loves kids but he's tired of his own kids using and manipulating him.
How long did it take for him
How long did it take for him to reach tired of being used and manipulated? I'm tired of it already, but I don't have much hope...that seems to be what his relationship with them is.
With his oldest, it took
With his oldest, it took awhile because she has been pretty estranged from him for a long time, so he tried for a long time to have a relationship with her (gave her chance after chance). Even so, he was cautious. His final breaking point with her was when she was about 24 (I think) and she cussed him out (she is 27, now). Then she tried to blame him, put a guilt trip on him and he was just fed up. She has always treated him like crap. She has 3 kids, 2 of which we have never seen.
His youngest daughter (different BM) just turned 24, and when she was 15 she started taking after her mother (lying and manipulating) so he put his guard up and has never completely trusted her since (she is very dependent on BM so is up her butt).
He and SD24 talk on the phone often but he will not allow her to use him. When she complains about not having money or hints around about her bills, he tells her to get a job. She has 2 kids, we see them about twice a year and one of those times is to collect Christmas gifts (of course).
He wishes things were different but it is what it is and he has come to terms with it. He does not want to keep getting hurt over and over. I think he mostly just tries not to think about it, although he does worry about SD24.
DH & I are estranged from
DH & I are estranged from both of his adult daughters.
OSD would have happily taken our last quarter, and the more we/I did for her and her family, the more she wanted. She put gskids and stepgskids up to calling and asking us to take them shopping, to buy athletic equipment & pay fees, school fundraiser stuff, you name it. OSD even dressed her daughter up in pretty clothes before bringing her over to hit us up for $500 for dental work for her. The little girl was overly sweet and friendly to DH that visit too, probably having been coached by her manipulative mother.
We used to see and/or talk to gskids daily, but the first time I drew a boundary with OSD, she cut all contact between us and the kids. Things ramped up again when YSD had a second child and OSD started texting DH photos and info about the baby.
SILs also joined in the baby baiting game, but DH has held firm. They have their own Happy Family agenda, and either don't understand or don't care how hurtful it is. DH recognizes that we were being exploited & that gskids were being used as a weapon. He has clarity on OSD's character and will likely never forgive her for alienating the gskids from us.
My SD puts her kids on the
My SD puts her kids on the phone sometimes when she's talking to DH. He can't understand them, it's hilarious.
ugggh...sounds horrific. I
ugggh...sounds horrific. I am continually surprised (but shouldn't be) by SD20's behavior. Actually both SD's. It seems neverending.