New school year: Should I go to the kids parent-teacher meeting with husband?
In the years past my husband has relied on his ex-wife to relay school related information to him such as the kids grades, behavior, field trips, dates for important school events, etc., but this year he has decided to bypass her on all things school related and be directly involved with the kids teachers. Last year he realized that relying on the ex for important information was a joke and more frustrating that anything.
Today, husband asked for my schedule during the week of the parent-teacher orientation so he could "schedule the meeting around our schedules." He automatically assumed that I would be ok with going to meet the kids' teachers and I'm not ok with it! I can't explain why I am not ok with it but to me it just seems odd going to meet the kids teachers when I am not their biological parent. Not to mention that if his ex-wife found out that I was remotely involved with an activity that is "reserved for her" she would be a total bitch and I am so over her bullshit. My husband and I, along with the kids have had an amazing summer and drama free! I would rather stay away from anything that could possibly cause drama with the BM.
I went ahead and gave my husband my schedule for that week but I haven't told him that I do not want to attend the meeting. He supports me in EVERYTHING that I do so I feel like I'd be letting him down if I didn't show my support by attending these meetings.
The court system always preaches "do what is in the best interest of the kids" and to be very honest, if I didn't go to their parent teacher conference they will question me as to why I didn't go with dad. They know how strong our unit is and they are quick sense when something is "not adding up."
I know my due diligence is to my husband and it may be pretty selfish of me to not attend the meeting just because I don't want to hear the ex-wife's mouth...but I hate the drama she causes!!!
If YOU were in this situation, what would YOU do?!
I would go to the meeting.
I would go to the meeting. It's important to him. Going to a meeting doesn't have to mean that you are going to be interfering or otherwise involved in what's going on. If BM acts like a witch about it, ignore it and move on. Don't engage in a dialogue with her about it.
A few years ago I suggested
A few years ago I suggested that he take this route with the school because BM hardly relayed any messages to him and we were finding out about events at the kids school after they had passed. My husband could not wrap his head around the idea of handling things like this on his own. The final straw came when their son visited the school counselor a few times last year and husband found out about it during an end of the year school party this past April. Mom hid the visits from Dad, why she chose to hide the visits to the counselor are still unknown. I am glad he is finally realizing that her assistance, with relaying school information, is not needed!
Oh no, no! I don't have a
Oh no, no! I don't have a court order saying I have to do anything. I was just referencing that in court the judge always tell the parents to "do what is in the best interest of the child." If apply that rule here and I remove the feelings of myself, my husband, and the BM and focus on "the best interest of the child" I don't think it would matter much if I am there or not!
Same here. They just got out
Same here. They just got out of school and don't go back until the day after Labor Day.
I wish it was sooner because I have vacation time that I have to use but I will wait until they go back to school.
Staycation is not vacation when you're a custodial SM.
THIS We just got out on June
THIS
We just got out on June 26. The first day of school is September 9.
If and only if If you have a
If and only if
If you have a good relationship with skids then go to support dh but if you don't then don't feel obligate to go.
I went to support dh but ended up had to be mediator to calm dh vs bm and bm vs sd down before they kill each other (college - student/parents orientation).....it was crazy......lol. Took me 2 weeks to recover from that trip...if bm is a control freak then don't bother. My dh always contracted school directly while skids were in middle/high school.
A.
Don't go. It is not worth
Don't go. It is not worth it. I don't believe in giving unreasonable, dramatic BM's whatever they want, but I do believe in protecting yourself from drama and ridiculousness. There are so many things BM's do to cause problems that we just can't avoid, my suggestion is don't willingly participate in something unnecessary that may result in drama. DH should understand.