Why did I know this was coming???
I am having issues with my wife & SD19. SD19 is living with her boyfriend & their child (he has 2 other kids that he cant even visit). They have had problems off & on for 4 years, physical abuse, mental abuse etc. It all came to a head about a month ago. SD19 calls her mom & says she is calling the cops that the boyfriend is pulling her hair & forcing her down on the ground until she listens. The cops arrest him & he is in jail. My wife says finally maybe he will leave & go back where he came from. A week later SD19 bails him out of jail & says he promises to change, yeah right, we have had to throw him out of the house from yelling at her before. This is his second time going to jail for abuse against her. I told my wife I am done with him. The mom (my wife) says "we will never see the grand baby" I told her if the boyfriend is there I wont be seeing the grandkid. We have a huge 4th of July party coming up that all the families come to. I told her the boyfriend is not invited. She says "well I want to be with my grandkid on his first forth of July" so guess what, they are not coming to the party, the 4 of them are going some where else, I said fine. Of course now I have a lot of resentment towards my wife & stepdaughter because they picked the BF over me. We just got married 2 months ago & I cant even stand to be around any of them now. Am I in the wrong here from not letting him come to the party? There is so much more to this, I could write a book about it. It really pisses me off that my wife can be around a guy that beats her daughter. I cant win...
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As much as I hate I say it, I
As much as I hate I say it, I think the word you're looking for is "annulment."
He has two other kids he
He has two other kids he can't see. Why can't he see them?
If children's services was involved with the other two children, they would be interested in paying them a visit to check on the welfare of the new baby (especially since he has two recent domestic violence incidents).
A call to the children's services hot line expressing concern about the child's welfare in view of recent and past events can be made. At the very least someone should go out to access the situation.
Your wife is willing to turn
Your wife is willing to turn a blind eye to this because she will 'lose' her daughter and grandchild.
My own daughter was in a dysfunctional relationship that was mentally abusive (not physically) and as long as I was there to 'rescue' her over and over again the situation wouldn't get better. In the end I told her I would no longer be supporting her cohabitation with this manchild and when she came to her sense we would be there for her. Until then, she was on her own.
It hurt. It sucked. But within 2 weeks she walked away from him.
And so you too must stand up and say "No! No more!" and ban that man from the party. This girl has been with him for 5 yrs and is 19 yrs old. That means her 'normal relationship' is anything this guy does to er. This is all she knows. And unless she gets mental health help she will eventually move onto the next guy that treats her just as badly or even worse.
Or..... Get the guy cornered by a bunch of like minded men at the party and scare the crap out of him. Just for fun.
Yes, you are right for
Yes, you are right for banning a shit if a human being at your party. Your wife is not doing her daughter and grandchild any favors by turning a blind eye. So sad.
Why did you marry into this?
Exactly what oneoffour said
Exactly what oneoffour said "This girl has been with him for 5 yrs and is 19 yrs old. That means her 'normal relationship' is anything this guy does to er. This is all she knows. And unless she gets mental health help she will eventually move onto the next guy that treats her just as badly or even worse."
It's all she knows. And when Mommy tells daughter that it is OK to tolerate this and this is normal, and this is what love is... then she thinks this is all she deserves and this is what everyone else has. And Mommy IS saying that by allowing that woman-beater around and supporting her daughter living with an abuser in any way.
Your wife is fucked in the head. Like FUCKED in the head. Who would EVER allow a man who beat their child into their house to break bread and celebrate??? Let alone to go OUT WITH THEM?????
SMH. Fucked up.
Thanks for all of the
Thanks for all of the comments...to the people that think I should compromise, I have several times in the past. I even let both of them live in our house rent/bill free until they got on their feet. The new one was last night when I got home, the wife says what day this weekend can we keep the baby overnight so they can catch up on sleep. Neither one has a job. Boyfriend lost his from the last domestic abuse charge. Was also discharged from the army for the same thing. At least SD is going to college & gets good grades, she wants to be a teacher, good lord. They are on welfare & food stamps, she sells stuff her bio dad has bought her in the past to pay bills, I think I am going to have to disengage again.