OT-Guy At Work
New guy at work is really starting to bother me.
He has been hitting on me. He knows I have a fiancé because my SO comes to lunch with me every day and I TOLD him I'm with someone.
Every time I would go out to lunch he would (in a whining voice) ask me why I didn't invite him.
Finally, I got sick of it and told him "I go to lunch EVERY day with my SO. You and I will never be going to lunch together"
He finally stopped asking that but won't stop other stuff.
I have to get a new cell phone because my carrier is no longer going to support my phone because it's too old. I was talking to him about it because he sells cell phones on the side. He started saying I need a fancy phone even though I told him no. I'm on the computer at work all day and have a tablet and laptop at home. I don't want to spend over $100 on a phone. Then he started saying that if I was his girl, he would be spoiling me all the time and buying me a new cell phone every month. WTF
The biggest problem, is he won't stop touching me. I getting really mad about it. Every day he comes in he has to walk in my office (cubicle with a door) and try to rub my back or my arms. Throughout the day, every time I talk to him, he is touching me in some way. I pull away every time.
He was just in my office rubbing on me and I said stop touching me. He got a weird look on his face and just keep talking.
I don't want to go to my boss. I don't want to make this into a "thing" . I just want this guy to stop touching me.
I told SO about the cell phone thing but not about the touching. He will rip the guy a new one and I can't have that in my office.
Why do people think they can put their hands on you. I hate it.
(FYI...I can't close my office door because then my supervisor thinks me and my female co-worker are fighting.)
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Comments
You have 2 options to deal
You have 2 options to deal with this.
1. you tell your boss or HR and insist that it is followed up or
2. you confront the creep straight out and tell him not to touch you ever again if he wants to keep his job and reputation. If he continues to touch you revert to 1.
It is not worth suffering in silence. Causing a fuss is the only way to get him to stop.
Wow creeper. Just the way you
Wow creeper.
Just the way you told him about lunch you need to tell him that he is crossing a line and you are getting very uncomfortable. He either needs to back off and be like any other normal co-worker or you will have to speak with your boss because he is crossing boundaries and he is not listening to you when you tell him to stop.
Sounds like you need to just
Sounds like you need to just stop talking to this guy, unless it's directly related to work.
I had a similar issue with a coworker, he would always touch my shoulder or something when he would come say hi. I actually like chit chatting with him, and other than those weird touching things he was fine. Finally one day I just said real loudly (because I work in cubes too and neighbors are close!) "why are you touching me?". He got the hint and has not done it since.
If that doesn't stop him, definitely do one of the other suggestions, go to your boss, go to HR, send him and email so you have a record of you saying something to him.
SMH Some guys just can't take
SMH
Some guys just can't take a hint.
Like Soccerwifeandmom said. Send him an email but before you do so, do inform yourself on what your company's sexual harrassment policies are.
I can tell you that for my company, we have a three strikes policy rule on just about everything.
When you email this creep, cite the instances of his inappropriate behavior and tell him that what he is doing qualifies as sexual harrassment and that you do not have to put up with it. Either he stops this behavior and acts as a professional in the work place or you will advise HR and let them take the appropriate action.
>Why do people think they can put their hands on you. I hate it<
We have a guy here who is like that with EVERYBODY. He loves touching you on the arm, the shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze. I don't know if it's a cultural thing or not (He's European), but it creeps ME out when he does it to me...AND I'M A GUY!!! But he is a nice guy though. Talks constantly about his wife and kids so I know he is not coming on to me....
...
......
...
I hope.
Thanks. Now I'm not going to
Thanks.
Now I'm not going to be able to sleep at night!
LOL
LOL
I have no idea where my HR
I have no idea where my HR office is but I know I can talk to our supervisor about it.
I know I need to say tell him straight out to stop. It's just not easy for me. Grrr. This sucks
I know it's awkward, but if I
I know it's awkward, but if I can borrow some of my DW's experience. She had a similar problem with a guy where she used to work. Started off all innocent like. A flirt here, some nice words there "Hey! I love that dress on you! You look sexy." DW didn't think anything of it at first. Next thing you know the guy was joining her at every smoking break DW took. DW couldn't understand how this guy knew when she left the building. Turns out this guy's office was situated just outside the smoking area, so whenever he saw DW, he would jump and go on break as well.
Things got to a head when he followed her home. Yes, he waited until DW was in the parking lot and he dashed out to get in his car and he followed her. DW said she broke some traffic laws that day to get rid of him. Her roomate at the time told her that it was possible he lived close to her so maybe he wasn't really following her. The next day she approached someone who knew him and asked him if he knew where he lived. Guess what, he lived no where near DW.
She immediately went to HR and reported him.
Want to know what his excuse was for following DW? "Oh I was looking for a bike path for me to ride on the weekend."
Guy was given a warning and he stopped bothering DW after that, but supposedly he latched onto some other girl he fancied and she complained to HR as well. They fired him.
You do not need to be polite
You do not need to be polite and worry about hurting his feelings. Women are famous for doing this. You have the right to tell him "Never touch me again."
And what everyone is saying, don't talk about personal things with him. Only work, and only if you have to.
Email him as well.
But again, do not worry about hurting his feelings. He is a gross idiot that preys on women who won't confront him. Look him in the eye and tell him to never touch you again.
And the line about the cell phone.....good lawrdy....what a cheesy, sleazy line. Just..ewwwwww....what a loser he is.
Look, it's not your job to
Look, it's not your job to take care of this guy's feelings. You can't let your fear of conflict give him permission to rub and touch you at work. Talk to him like how we tell everyone here to talk to their small kids - firm and direct, short and sweet. Not in private, no long discussions, no making nice... just, "You're touching me. That's inappropriate and I don't want you to do it again. Do you understand?" And hold assertive eye contact at least 5 seconds or until you get an answer or he looks away. And never have a non-business discussion with him again.
Really, you can say what you want without the walls falling down around you. Just do it!