BM1 is never a problem for us, her and DH have been divorced for over 10 years. I like her enough, she treats me with respect and skids with DH and BM1 are great. Life sounds peachy right? (All my BM skid issues stem from BM2 and SD from DH and BM2)

Either way though. Lately BM1 has been a little nutty. DH asked her if he could start getting the kids on weeknights for dinner. We'd pick them up and drop them off. She said she was totally fine with that. Now she is telling the kids that DH is a whiny little bitch and that he needs to stick to the court order and calling him names in front of them, etc. They're beyond alienation because they are older and they can see the truth so she's just doing this to be a assert her dominance over him.

She told SD 17 that we were going half in on a car for her, which we never agreed to and now SD is angry with us because we told her we never agreed to that. She also has skids do her bidding for her, she will have them ask DH if he will go half on ridiculously expensive ($500) prom dresses, school trips, $200 coach shoes, etc etc). He pays child support (on time every month) but felt inclined to help out here and there for the extras which was whatever I don't say anything we don't share finances (mostly) so if he wants to spend his spending cash on those things I don't care as long as it doesn't effect me. She had SS12 call and ask DH if BM could come to his birthday dinner had planned for him (um, no, we're not that close), etc. She can never just call DH and ask for these things herself. SHe's to the point where she is just expecting things now. I guess I can't blame her because DH has set a precedence that he will help out a little bit if he can but now what?

I told him he needs to tell her that he's definitely not going to be giving her an extra dime above child support if she's going to be bad mouthing him to the kids. He agreed, this was last month. Well we found out yesterday that she's doing the same stuff and more but he never talked to her. We have so many issues with BM2 and I love that BM1 is drama free but now she's stirring the pot.

Is it worth it though? The kids see right through her BS (all except SS12 who stopped coming for our weekly dinners because of this). I don't know if it's worth it for him to confront her when they otherwise have had a decent relationship. I can't deal with drama from 2 BM's. I like that we have peace with BM1 but at what cost now?

What would you do? Rock the boat or let it go?