I am a little sure on this one. My BF got a divorce a few years back from BM. Well during that process they were both "court ordered to do a "UA" right on the spot. My BF came out clean but BM was "dirty" why? They were both drug tested?? I have no clue?? and I have asked my BF that and he isn't really sure himself. I don't know why my BF didn't fight right there on the spot for temp. custody of his kids at that time because in the state of KS those are grounds to not have custody of your children.

This past month while sitting at the supper table with my future SS and future SD and my BF his kids were visting with us and out of the blue my BF SD says to us "Mommy thinks we think she doesn't smoke but we know she does". So I asked SD "how do you know BM smokes?? and SD says "mommy has a pipe in her purse" she described perfectly a pipe that is used to smoke marijuana.

Also my future SS admitted that the marijuana that I found stashed in my home he had stole from BM's bedroom, then called her a "pot head". I was so mad when I heard this. There may be a possibility that these kids may have to come live at our home soon because my BF is taking her back to court for "child support reducation" and we are going to ask the court to slap another UA on her. We are almost sure she will come out dirty.

These kids come from a home that is broken, and BM is a total loser and nasty bitch. My future SS and I rarely talk when he is here and to be honest I don't like my future SS because he manipulates both my BF and BM, he lies and because of his behavior he has to go weekly to therapy and racks up my future BF for medical bills to pay that he doesn't even have the money for. If he would act like a human being it wouldn't have to be like this. He is just a rebilious teenager with ADD and thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants and is out of control.

The problem that I have what in the heck is going to happen if these kids come live here?? I am going to go insane. The only reason why I would want my BF's kids to come live here is to give him a break with paying and that is it! I have spent alot of my time trying to be a good step mom to these kids and I give up. I now try and just focus on my own kids because when I'm old and gray they are the only ones that are going to be there for me in the long run. I don't see his kids being involved with me at all when they are grown with their own children.

I just don't know if them coming to live with us is going to be a bad thing because of BF's son being so out of control. Right now we have peace in our home cause they just come to visit wed's and every other weekend. I wonder if living with us will make him rebel even more?? we have structure in our home, and where he lives now he gets to do whatever he wants.....I'm lost...any input??