SD16 boyfriends mom just asked me to meet for coffee...

They have been dating a total of three to four weeks tops. This is the same lady that when BF (I'll call him Tubbs) was dropped off at our house for the first time (about 3 months before they started "dating") to work on a group project insisted on coming inside to check out our home and to chat with DH and I for 15 minutes. Poor Tubbs looked mortified.

Tubbs is a nice polite kid who is kindy on the nerdy side. DH and I like him and we have seen the other loosers that SD16 was bringing around so we are happy with Tubbs.

I really don't want to go for coffee for a few reasons. One, I don't think she knows that I am step mom. Two, I think its kinda creepy,and three, I work full time the last thing I want to do is to get together to talk about the "kids". What is there to talk about?

Am I missing something? I don't ever remember my Mom meeting my boyfrinds Mom's for coffee.

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maybe she thinks they are

maybe she thinks they are doing the nasty?

Guess I'm in the minority.

Guess I'm in the minority. What's creepy about mom being friendly with parents of kid's friends? I would absolutely do this if I had my own kids. My girlfriends all raised their children this way and I would absolutely follow their example.

I do to a certain extent with the parents of kids that interact with skids. It's awesome. Ranges from become new gfs to simply making them feel comfortable at my skid's party. What's wrong or creepy about it?

I can't speak for others of

I can't speak for others of course, but to me this comes off as the boyfriend's mom trying to be involved in their relationship. I kind of had the same "that's creepy" reaction when Drac0's DW hung out (drunk) with her Tall Boy and Tall Boy's girlfriend.

I'm with you on being friendly with parents of my kids' friends. But teen BF/GF seems weird to me, unless it's the small town "everyone already knows everyone" kind of place. None of my high school boyfriends lasted more than a month when I was a kid. My mom would have had quite the busy schedule if she tried to meet all their moms!! }:)

As they say around here,

As they say around here, testify!

My SD15 is currently in her

My SD15 is currently in her first relationship. Shockingly, it has gone on for 8 months now, THAT WE KNOW OF. It is actually driving me completely nuts that none of the parents involved have bothered to meet each other. This boy is gonzo crazy about SD to the extent that I feel there may be reason to be concerned. You should see the note he wrote to her at Christmas. O, good lord almighty, that note.

Anyway, sd15 has truancy and flunking issues AND she's a latchkey kid at her mom's. BF16 just got a car. We really have NO idea what she's doing or WHERE during these truancy episodes or latchkey afternoons. We do know of at least one instance where bf16 rode home on HER bus to her house in the afternoon without asking first. And yet these parents never bother to pick up the phone and introduce themselves to each other. Never compare notes about what their kids are supposed to be doing or what stories their kids have told them.

If it were up to me I would so make that introduction very early on and my kid would know it was expected. It would not be because I want to be "in the middle" of their relationship but because they are KIDS who need to be supported and supervised and guided!

Kids will try to get away with things, no matter how great a kid they are. When parents are all on the same team, adults can protect kids from their own stupidity.

Yep. I'm agreeing with the

Yep. I'm agreeing with the "minority" here too.

*IF* you (OP) are the main mother figure in SD16's life then I think it's something you should be doing. IF not you then your DH or the girls mum.

It's basic parenting common sense in my book. I always met the "mums" of the boys my older two dated as teens. That way we could get on the same page about what we thought was acceptable - at the time we lived quite far out of town, so sometimes my girls would sleepover at the BF's IN town (public transport being non-existent on the weekends and mum's taxi not always available for them - oh kids get their license at 18 here) So, for me - meeting the parents and doing it early gave us all an opportunity to say "HI" And what we are ok with in terms of what we allow them to do - for me it was always the kids wanted the sleepover, I met the parents and made sure that they and I were on the same page regarding sleeping arrangements and supervision. (and if I felt the other parent didn't take the arrangement seriously or had no way of ensuring they were kept apart or properly supervised then it would be a no to sleepovers)

Then it also sets up the parents to have contact if and when required. So the kids know you are BF's parents talk they know there is less they can get away with in the telling you both different stories to get something POV.

She's probably aware that her

She's probably aware that her son is tubby and nerdy and is thrilled he has a gf. Why don't you just invite her to come in for a cup of coffee next time she drops him off?

Hmm I don't think it's too

Hmm I don't think it's too weird. Maybe a little because you are the SM but as you mentioned, it doesn't seem she knows you are the SM. I'd suggest directing her to SD's Bio's if you aren't the major mother role figure in SD's life.

Anyway, I think it's a good thing that she is interested in knowing you guys considering that the kids are dating. I think too many parents don't get involved and know what the kids are up to and they then get themselves in trouble. I know when Dd is of dating age, I will most def be meeting the parents on whoever she dates. I also think it's good because you want to know what kind of people your child (generally speaking) is getting involved with, kwim?