Damn! She sounds like that psycho stepdaughter on the Lifetime movie Killing Daddy.

I went through the 'hot and cold' business for years. Each time SD went back to 'cold' it was worse than the last time. I never knew from one time to the next what mood she would be in, if she was going to be nice or not. Like you I disengaged and quit trying to please her. The 'nice times' never came back. You will find things are much better when you are not playing the juggling act with her. It sounds like you have a handle on it now. Good for you. There's plenty of things to occupy ones life other than playing the 'hot and cold' game.

That is what this is called - - I've wondered for months if it was me that was tripping or was this mf wishy-washy? The notorious up and down cycles. They mentally wear me out. Good for a few days then does and/or says something stupid to put my panties in a bind. I know I have a low tolerance for b.s. and my temper gets from 1 to asshole in seconds, but just don't let your skid do that. It wasn't until I registered and was reading these posts that I had some sort of release, and I wasn't the only one that felt the way I did about skids. Disengaging is a good way of not letting the craziness get to you.

The "hot & cold" game. Skids love it. They treat you "cold". They bully you or ignore you. They are mean, nasty, tacky, hateful & hostile. They are calculating and abusive.

When skids are on the “hot” cycle, they go fishing with your emotions. They fish for compliments, sweetness, things, and what I call “sunshine” and then cycle back to “cold”.

I too, have been through the cycles. When one would come back into the “hot” cycle my dh & I would blow “sunshine” up their butts and act as if the “cold” cycle never happened. Of course this only encourages the skids to “ramp it up” when back in the "cold" cycle.

My osd is back in our life and actually has been trying to have a genuine relationship. I think it helped one day when she was in her “hot” cycle and came to our home. (This was after over a year of no communication and a new grandson that was a year old when I saw him for the first time, not to forget I had not seen the OSGS in over a year & I had already become quite attached.) Osd had weeks earlier called her dad and made arrangements to meet us & introduce us to the new grandson. I refused to go. My dh did meet with her a few times and now she had come to our home. My dh went into the usual blowing “sunshine up her butt” & I stood up and said “I CAN NOT PRETEND THERE IS NOT AN ELEPHANT IN THIS ROOM”! I went on to say “NO MORE”. “If I get any more nastiness, I AM DONE!

Although it has not been perfect, I do see it getting better with osd. Even so, I still have my guard up.