Hi I've decided to turn my comments in a blog. I'm new to this but from reading what others have written don't feel so alone. By writing a blog I feel I will have a place to let out my feelings.

My husband left me for another woman 7 years ago and it took me a while to build my confidence back up (still not quite there). I have 3 adult children who have moved out and one 14 year old. She was 7 when her dad left. He has regular contact. I couldn't afford to keep our family home so bought a smaller house in another area, I drove my then 8 year old back to her old school for 18 months before finally moving her to the local high school. This move was difficult for us both, and took a lot of adjusting to.

Five years ago I met a wonderful man, or so I thought. I took my time building a relationship with him, I was very insecure after my break up. He has 2 children now aged 18 and 19 who he said lived with their mum (I found out later that they actually had shared care) he lied about this as he thought I wouldn't go out with him. I tried to get to know them but they were very reserved with me, he said they were shy.

After seeing each other for a year I felt happy, and secure for the first time in years. We were planning to move into together. Out of the blue his ex wife died and his kids moved in with him. This was a devestating time for everyone. I offered for us all to move in together but he didn't want to upset them further so we delayed things for 4 years, until the eldest was at university and the younger one at college. I sold my house but his didn't sell and his daughter continued to live there by herself (her choice)

Ever since we have been living together (9 months now) his kids have been rude to me, not speaking when they visit and constanly going behind my back trying to get money from their dad. My SD rings up rudely demanding things from him, even in the middle of the night. My Partner gives into her and constantly lies to me about things. We have argued so much over her, and had so many times spoilt by the bad atmosphere she creates when she does visit with all my kids, as she won't speak or join in anything. She just waits for me to leave the room to whisper to dad to take her home. I've really tried to get to know her, taken her shopping, on two holidays abroad, asking her to our house for meals. Each time she's here my partner treads on eggshells around her, not wanting to upset her. He just gives her anything she wants.

The final straw for me was on Christmas Eve. All 6 of our kids came here for a meal. My SD arrived and just stood in the corner, refused anything to eat, and just texted her friends, ignoring everyone. I tried to get her to join in some family games but she just shook her head. The atmosphere was terrible. Finally she asked to be taken home. I then learned she'd told her dad (her brother too) that they didn't want to come back for Christmas day. (they were invited to sleep over) this caused a huge row, spoilt the evening for everyone, and ended with my partner packing and walking out on me at 11.30 Christmas eve to spend Christmas with his kids.

Christmas and New year were the worst ever, my two daughters were in tears. I've since had emails from him claiming he's sorry, made a big mistake and telling me I was right about them not really wanting him there apart from to cook, clean and taxi them around. He wants to come home.

The trouble is I've lost all trust in him and the fact he walked out on Christmas eve is proving too much for me to deal with. I'm so upset but I don't know how I can forgive him for spoiling Christmas. I feel totally unimportant to him and as he choosen to be with them that shows his kids he has no respect for me at all. His 19 year old son has said on Facebook how happy he is to have his dad back! Although he is off back to uni this week. I have always felt they have been trying to seperate us, and finally they have.

I have tried speaking to his daughter but she just says she's got 'issues' with her dad that I know nothing about. She has even (surprisingly) emailed me saying she wants her dad to move back here with me as she wants her own 'space' back!

I don't know how we can put this right as he never stands up for me or our relationship to his kids and I don't think this will change.