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IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!!!

kandi27284's picture

Submitted by kandi27284 on Wed, 12/30/2009 - 12:00am

I need help my husbands strained relationship with SD13 is taking a toll on our marriage. We have been married 13 years shortly after we got married his visitation got cut. We have very limited funds so hiring lawyers has been out of the question. He has tried to come to agreements with the BM on visitation. No luck this has gone on for years. He sees his dsughter sporaticly. It's killing him though he rarely speaks on it. I've tried to do all I can to help including trying to forge a relationship with my SD on facebook. Things were going ok. We were talking and I guess the BM got wind of it cause today I got a message via FB to "leave me alone". What the heck. I'm just trying to mend fences for the sake of my husband and this little snot whose ass I wiped, nose I cleaned, hair I fixed etc blocks me like a stalker. I don't know why but I was hurt. I wouldn't care except I want my husband to be happy, oh and by the way my husbands family blame me for him not seeing hos child. So here I am caught in the middle,And being blamed for everybody's problems. She doesn't even come around and it still sucks.

Comments

Starwhite's picture

Submitted by Starwhite on Wed, 12/30/2009 - 12:41am

First and foremost I do understand your feelings. My own SD I raised from 5 years old and up. I love her and deserve the same attention and respect and love her Biological Mom receives. Clearly your SD has discounted you and thrown you away, further she is manipulating your Husband's attention and affections away from you. Do not let her Hi Jack your marriage. He alone should be the most important aspect of your life, and vice versa. My advice is to not talk about your SD unless he initiates it. Just talk positive about her. Reality time: The SD has clearly disrespected and disowned you. Time to fix what you can. Be there for your husband, be his best friend. Say nothing and I mean nothing negative about your SD. In time you will both heal. If pressed let him know you desire and want a relationship with your SD but she has chosen otherwise. As far as his family they need to be ignored.Your husband should be offended at his family's remark and ready to step in the ring and defend your honor. Remember, after the kids are grown and gone it will just be the two of you. Trust in your love and try and get over this.

kandi27284's picture

Submitted by kandi27284 on Wed, 12/30/2009 - 9:46pm

Give me a Break!!!!!
Here's the latest in the emotional roller coaster that is my life.
Husband went to BM house to see what's up why are we being alienated. He was told SD13 wants nothing to do with our family. He was told that she didn't want to reconnect with him cause he might just leave again. What the heck. He didn't leave the first time the BM refused him access. The fact that they can treat him and my other children(her siblings) this way is outrageous. i guess i should consider myself lucky that at least the drama is outside of my home. It's just hard cause my 4 year old desparately
wants to know her sister,and I wonder what lasting effects this will have on my marriage.

Starwhite's picture

Submitted by Starwhite on Wed, 12/30/2009 - 11:29pm

At this point there is nothing you can do to change your SD's decision to cut ties. Again, as stated above say nothing negative ever in front of your husband about his Biological daughter's horrible behavior. I am sure he feels rejected and his self esteem is suffering. Just comfort him the best way you know how.