I agree with you totally, Rags. I'm always complaining about this. Back in my day, if you wanted a trophy or a prize, you had to NOT SUCK. We had to EARN that stuff. Nowadays, teachers will bribe kids with lunch to McDonald's just for showing up to school! :?

No good will come from this.

It's because 80's kids (like myself) feel that they weren't treated fairly growing up and didn't agree with the way they were parented. But, shit has gone WAY too far over to the other end of the spectrum! There is such a thing as a happy medium. Don't beat and abuse your kids, but don't kiss their asses, either. Call them out on their b.s. if need be and hold them accountable.

Happy medium.

Yep, and the brats nowadays threaten to call CPS on their parents for discipline. They lie, parents are investigated, time and money is wasted that should be helping kids who are really being abused.

Yes, kathc. Parents hands are tied, nowadays. Having CPS all up in your shit over nothing isn't a lot of fun. The kids are holding all of the cards and the adults know it.

Yes it is bad not only do we reward them for nothing beyond showing up or being some ancillary part of something, but we expect nothing in the way of contribution to family. Instead we cater to them and act as though we are their personal assistants. They will be soon running things, and that is what truly terrifies me!

This is a frightening trend, I hope the pendulum swings back to center soon. The permissive parenting and constant reward for no achievement is bad enough but kids are given adult privileges with no adult responsibilities. Cell phones, no bed time or restriction on media, things like this. What do children have to look forward to when they "grow up"? What incentive do they have to grow up?
They are going to face constant disappoint for the rest of their lives. Remember thinking I can't wait to grow up so I can ... "eat what I want", "stay up all night", "watch whatever I want on TV"... Many children are given these and even more damaging adult privileges without the maturity or responsibility required in the adult world to keep these privileges.

Thank you so much for this post! I beat myself up for holding my skids to the expectations of a decent family when so many allow the simplicity of this world to raise their children for them. And my oldest fights me so hard and I have to jump over so many hurdles because "all" of his friends have phones, can play M games, and can be on media whenever they want to be. We make our kids play outside, they have a max of 20 min media on the weekdays, if any, and we try to limit weekends to 2 hours a day. SS7 lost 6 of 6 basketball games and received a trophy. His coach told him when they lost their game that they hadn't really lost and that it isn't about the points. My husband an I made sure to tell him that he did lose the game because his team scored less points than the other team, but that all participants were winners because they were learning the game and having fun. However, I don't feel like we need to stroke their ego and give them a trophy for playing. Can I just pay less to register them if I opt out of buying them a trophy?!!

So agree. DH just told me today he ordered SS's trophy for finishing another grade. Kid has a desk full of trophies for being average. I may have figured out how it started. SS has a trophy from first grade, where he was at the top of the class, I guess. It's a more specific trophy. My guess is that second grade rolled around, SS didn't get a trophy, because he wasn't at the top of the class. Daddy felt bad and told him he could still get a trophy. Big mistake, IMHO. Make the kid realize if you don't work hard, you don't get the rewards. Instead, we have a child who just expects everything without any effort at all.