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How old do you have to be to starting planning ahead?

HappyCow's picture

Submitted by HappyCow on Mon, 11/03/2014 - 8:59am

Per our agreement with SD16 having an IPhone her way of contributing to the cost is to babysit DD6 on the occasional day off of school. They don't happen too often and a lot of times they correspond with a day that DH or I have off. SD16 goes to her BM’s every other weekend and we alternate holiday’s each year. This is the 2nd year SD16 has lived with us fulltime.

If SD16 wants to spend a longer weekend with her BM on these days off of school I have asked that she gives me at least a week to two to make other arrangements for DD6. I can sign her up for a school program on days off that is $30 a day or I can make other arrangements with DD6 best friends stay at home mom or my mom is able to adjust her schedule.

Sunday's conversation with SD16 at 5:00 pm

SD16: Hey Mom offered to come and pick me up tonight since I have off on Monday and Tuesday. Can I tell her to come?

Me: I think you know the answer to this question.

SD16: Oh, I guess I have to stay home with DD6.

Me: Yes, this is the third or fourth time we have had this conversation with both you and BM. I need at least a week to make other arrangements. I don't care if you want to go but the two of you need to plan ahead.

SD16: Ok, I'll tell Mom I can't come because I have to babysit.

Me: You need to ask her what her plans are for Thanksgiving. You can go on Tuesday night through the weekend but I need to know so I can make arrangements for DD6 if you are going to be there. Ask her now since she is waiting for an answer about tonight.

One hour later:

Me: What did your Mom say about Thanksgiving?

SD16: I forgot to ask her. I will do it later.

DH and I decided that we would not change our schedules to accommodate them for not planning ahead. I will make other arrangements for Thanksgiving week ahead of time but it still irks me that they cannot think more than 20 minutes in the future.

Comments

HappyCow's picture

Submitted by HappyCow on Mon, 11/03/2014 - 9:44am

It's 100% fair that we ask her to do this. This was laid out for her when she first moved in with us 2 years ago. It's not a surprise for her at all. My DD6 can make her own lunches and knows how to work the tv and her imagination. SD16 just makes sure she doesn't do anything stupid in the 6 hours we are gone. This is the only time we have SD16 babysitting. All other date night activities DD6 goes to my Mom or Step Mom for the night. It's not like we are taking advantage of her.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Mon, 11/03/2014 - 9:38am

How old do you have to be to starting planning ahead?

Well that depends.... it's kind of like those diagrams they do sometimes?

You are a 16 year old spoiled princess. (If you answered yes to this, go to the next question)

You are planning ahead for something YOU WANT to do, like shopping, party, concert etc. (If you answered yes to this then the answer is "IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO BEGIN MANUIPULATING (oops planning)

You are planning ahead for something someone ELSE wants you to do. (If you are a spoiled 16 old princess, STOP, there is no need to EVER plan ahead in this situation)