Bm refuses to be with sick sd8 tommorow
Sd8 has some sort of stomach virus that came on suddenly this morning. She has been running a fever and I told dh he shouldn't send her to school until she's been fever free for 24 hours. Tommorow is Bm's day with her and she is refusing to take a day off of work to be with sd8. Dh has a full day of work and I don't think he should cancel on his clients. Shouldn't Bm take care of sd8,it's HER custody day?!! Wth!!!?
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I guess there are two sides
I guess there are two sides to this...one she is already at yours and sick, so you are all already exposed - are there other kids involved at BM's? On here you always see the argument the kid should not be sent to infect a second house. On the other side, if you are a parent, kids get sick, so each parent should work it into the schedule.
Sorry that does not help much!
What in the heck does that
What in the heck does that have to do with anything??
If it's her day, she needs to
If it's her day, she needs to have SD8. When DH and I first got together and we had the Skids on the weekend, we returned them Sunday evening in whichever way, shape or form they were in. Those were the rules. BM was the one who was out late on Sunday nights enjoying her free time, and DH realized this was a habit. He would return his 13 and 7 yo daughters to an empty house, where they would make dinner for themselves. We started feeding them dinner and returning them late on Sunday when we learned that BM was out, just so they were fed and weren't alone.
My point is, it's BM's responsibility to have that child on Monday. DH isn't going to return her to BM to spite her, he's going to return her because it's BM's day. BM is going to beg and plead that DH (or YOU?) keep SD8 on Monday for whatever reason. She will TRY in hopes that DH will cave. A lot of times, DHs cave because it's easier than the "noise factor" created by BM. If DH has a full work day on Monday, then he should be able to work. If DH CHOOSES to watch SD8 because he feels he can miss work, and because he really wants to, then sure, maybe he can keep SD8.
BM is just pushing DH to see how far she can get. If DH starts to feel guilty, then he'd better get a backbone. I would return the Skid just to spite BM, too, at this point. How dare she say that about her own child? The Skid goes back to BM.
~ Moon
Yes. Yes she should stay home
Yes. Yes she should stay home with her kid and help her. However that isn't the point here.
The point is the skid is sick and this shouldn't be about which parent is on schedule. The point should be what are they (bioparents) going to do for their kid that is the BEST choice for their kid.
This issue comes up a lot on here. What to do with a sick skid. Leave them where they're at or stick to the schedule. My feeling is if your SD is too ill to be moved (stomach viruses suck), then she should stay with your H. If she is well enough to be transported to BMs home, then she should go there and the BM will have to deal.
I suggest you step back and let them duke it out.
Sd8 is actually doing pretty
Sd8 is actually doing pretty well. She isn't too sick to handle a 10 minute drive to Bm. Bm suggested I stay home with her tommorow. WTF! Hell no am I staying with sd8. She will go running to "daaadddy" the second she doesn't get her way and dh will make me feel like I did something wrong. Too bad dh,you shouldn't have allowed miniwife to manipulate you,i could have been of some help to you. Now you and nasty Bm have to figure it out. I'm staying out of it for sure!!!!!
Stay out of it and let them
Stay out of it and let them figure it out. Your smart to do this. Stay out of it.
See, you knew THAT was
See, you knew THAT was coming. The built-in babysitter, etc. We all get crapped on like that when it's convenient for them!
I just love how dh tells me
I just love how dh tells me "you don't like sd8, don't do enough with her,you are "jealous" of her..on and on over the past 2 years...I will call bs on dh insulting me and then daring to ask for my help with his precious miniwife!! :sick:
If she gets returned tonight
If she gets returned tonight take her to BM's then it's her problem. I love how we are always the anti-christ until they don't want to be bothered to watch their own kid.
THIS! Then the BM's usually
THIS!
Then the BM's usually tell them they don't have to listen to us or mind us and that we are nothing to them.
ER triage means that
ER triage means that life-threatening takes precedence over discomfort. Unless the stomach virus and pea-green poop/vomit has been going on for three days or more, it's not life-threatening.
In fact, unless it was some kind life-threatening poop situation which would get treated faster than gunshot victims and people having a heart attack, it would be very rude to take an ill child into the ER, make the kid suffer in the ER rather than bringing them to the other parent, and probably get the ER and all those other poor sick people more ill and also covered in poop or vomit.
It's a judgement call, and I don't agree that every single situation calls for the exact same answer. Mostly, if the child can get adequate care where they are, stay there. If not, then they need to be moved to where they do get adequate care. If neither parent can take the time off work, then I guess they had better call around everyone they know for someone to come look after their kid.
I'm curious what the exchange
I'm curious what the exchange time is. Example: does Dh usually drop SD off at school on Monday morning and then BM pick her up at school at dismissal time? In a case where the school normally has the kid all day and the opposite parent doesn't kick in until 3ish, would it still be considered BM's day to have kiddo? DH can't drop kid off at school and continue on to work and BM might be at work herself already Monday morning.
Who stays home (or returns to home) in this type of exchange period?
Oh it absolutely happens,
Oh it absolutely happens, stacey!!! People get fired for taking breaks when the boss would prefer they work through them. A lot of people working at or just above minimum wage don't really enjoy any protection from labour laws.
Oh, I'm Canadian too (living
Oh, I'm Canadian too (living overseas though) - and I'm talking about how it is in BC. In some cases, wait staff and drivers for restaurants, they dock YOUR pay when you have to return an item to the kitchen... even if it was the kitchen's error.
My SDstb4 has been sickly at
My SDstb4 has been sickly at times, she seems to get bad coughs and BM will take her to the Drs so occassionally my partner gets a text to say SD is too sick to go to school, however if it is my partners time then BM will leave it open ended for my partner as to when he wants SD; not at all, 3pm so its the same as school end or 5pm. Every time it has happened he has taken SD, that being said shes never actually been REALLY sick, and there are no other children at either household to worry about.
Now if SD was to be sick on our time, say for example on the monday when we should be dropping SD at school for BM to collect her. It would be sorted in the same way, a text to BM to inform her SD was sick and to ask when she wanted to come and get her.
I do understand the annoyance of both parents having to take the day off for sickness, is dad takes the day off because SD is sick and BM is going to take the day off to come and get her at like 10am or something, that is silly. But the point is here that BM doesnt want her, well when is BM supposing to collect her? When she is done with work? Actually thats reasonable if that is the normal hour SD would return to her care.
Kids get sick, the parent that is looking after the child at that point is responsible, either way its got nothing to do with the step parent and we should keep the hell out of that one lol
wow... ladies... that's
wow... ladies... that's pretty emotionally charged for this early in the day...
IMHO, OP ur dh doesnt really have a choice here. he cant force bm to take her, so he'll have to do what he's got to do to take care of his daughter.
that being said, how many other blogs have we seen that say "sd/ss is sick, i do NOT want them at MY house, they need to stay with bm and NOT come here." *smh*
stomach viruses are miserable. it's not like she's got a headcold. she probably needs to stay where she's at anyway close to the bathroom. poor thing, nothing i hate worse than being sick to my stomach.
This is a hot button
This is a hot button issue,for sure here..I was venting about Bm lack of concern for sd8, she is that way in general. It is really sad,and I feel bad for sd. I believe whomever has custody of the skid,sick or not,that parent needs to take the day off or find someone to look after skid staying home sick. I don't believe in transporting a very sick,suffering child by car,though. Sd8 still has a fever but when we checked on her she was out of her bed up and walking around her room. Dh took the morning off and bm is taking the afternoon off to be with sd8. Bm is so difficult though,and said last night that "sd should just go to school ". She actually thought that was an option!!! I have stayed out of it. I am busy today and didn't want to take on the care of sick sd8 due to her manipulation of dh. If I dare do something that doesn't please sd8,she will go whining to daddddddyy,and then I will get questioned. I am a good soul and feel bad that I didn't want to step in to help,but it is sanity preservation for myself.Dh gets to do it without my help and he has himself to blame. He should have NEVER said the things he said to me regarding precious miniwife. I won't put myself in any position to deal with that crap! I feel bad watching dh stress about his work day, though....