When I got together with my DW I thought I would have no problem and all the patience in the world for SS13 and SD7. I couldn't have been more wrong. I can't stand to be around them now (SS18 and SD12). I don't have kids of my own and my wife is 14 years my senior. I was an unexperienced optimistic young man and now 6 years later I'm distant, impatient and debating my exit. I wasn't built to raise kids, let alone someone else's.

You're gone through all the child raising with your own and now you are pretty much starting over with his kids. Hopefully as they get older, they'll be less annoying. I hoped the same thing, but discovered that it was more my dislike for them than them actually being annoying.

I hope everything works out for you.

Holy crap! I see he kept his old house but you sold yours. I SHOULD have kept my old house and rented it out as now I'm in a big pickle. Is the new house only in his name or is your name on it as well?

My kids were very well brought up by me, well behaved, as it was expected when I was a child and therefore I raised my own similarly as a single parent with no CS. And I didn't date as well. I thought everyone raised their children similarly. BOY was I EVER WRONG!!

Not only did my BF have three VERY young children (at the time, 7, 5 and 2) and this is the state of NY in which CS goes WELL past age 21, but he overpaid to the tune of me being the sole breadwinner.

All three were just "free ranged" no boundaries, no rules no structure. Feral, if you will. Was a shock to my system. And they became progressively more manipulative as children will when let on the loose.

There is also the possibility that he could at any time get full custody of them. In my case that is remote because the BM takes pride over her Mother of the Year delusion AND she gets massive CS for having them. But it could happen. And from most the posts I've read here and elsewhere, biodad turns into a lazy dad and expects stepmom to raise them for him, yet with the added "bonus" of coming down on her when he perceives any of her rules as "too strict."

You should get the book "Stepmonster" by Wednesday Martin STAT and read thoroughly.

You need a better plan...I kept my house and rent it out as my exit strategy. Do not move in together if you feel this way about those kids. It will never get better. Just worse.

They're not going to get better until high school at a minimum. Some never outgrow it and some of them are able to deal with it. Others just become losers in the game of life. My knowledge comes for raising a ADHD kid - my ex's first born.

You can't last 2 hours, you're not going to last ten years and more.

Write this all off as a bad idea, take the financial loses, get a divorce and find a guy who has no kids or they're grown. Never become a step-mother to any kids still living with Daddy. You're a threat even to the teenagers.

You can do this now or you can do it later when everything is much more complicated but you will be doing it.

If you do marry a guy with adult kids make sure everyone in both families know that financially the two of you are maintaining two separate estates and by implication if not directly saying so that their inheritance is safe. A Living Trust works quite well for that purpose and isn't relatively inexpensive.

I agree with Orange County--back out, take the financial hit, see a credit counselor--just do whatever you have to do to get out of this! Even bankruptcy has to be better than dealing with all that! Rent a place of your own for a while until you get back on track. Believe me, if you cannot stand those kids for a few hours, you won't be able to stand them for a whole weekend. Also think about what happens if mommy can't stand them anymore, and sends them to live with you full time.

At the very least, if you do decide to go through with this, rent a small room by the month. Then you will have somewhere to go when things get too crazy. Good luck!