Walking Down the Aisle
Good Morning. I have been reading on the site for a while now and just decided after fun filled step daughter wedding to sign up and vent. Last Saturday was step daughter 25's wedding. I have been with FDH for 9 years. He lives in the house I own with me. In the nine years we have been together I have never met the BM. Heard all the stories from his kids and him. She is a nut case. Kicked her own daughter out of her house when she was 16 and FDH had to drive an hour to pick her up off the street corner. FDH divorced her because she cheated with FDH best friend. For years FDH wasn't sure if his son was even his. We did a DNA test last year and he is the father. The BM has done nothing but gave grief the entire time I have been with him. Anyway like i said it was SD's wedding Saturday. She has a 3 year old daughter by someone (she isn't sure who the father is, nice morals huh?)and she is pregnant again with the guy she just married. So she gives FDH a 3 weeks notice to plan her wedding. He did a great job with the short notice. SD is a total bitch just like her mother. The had the ceremony at the pastor's house. The guest sat in chairs in front of the house and the bride and the groom and the wedding party were to walk from behind the house to the altar in the front. Mind you this is the first time I have laid eyes on the BM. She is hidious by the way lol. So I am sitting in the guest chairs alone as my FDH is behind the house to walk his Daughter to the altar. My husband hates his X with a passion and both his daughter and son know this. The music starts and at the last moment the daughter springs on him that she wants mom AND daddy to walk her down the Isle. I am so glad my FDH told her NO EFFING WAY!!! I swear if the two of them would have came around that corner I would have got my keys and purse and left. Looking to see if anyone would feel the same way. It is not like I told him not to do it he made his own choice, but do you think it is normal that I would be pissed?
Your opinion is well
Your opinion is well respected and understandable.
If my DF were to walk his daughter down the aisle n she wanted her crazy bitch mom ~ I don't think I would have a problem with it. I know this is crazy saying it but I knows she's crazy. He would probably say the same thing that your guy said. He can't stand the site of her.
That is why it has been 7
That is why it has been 7 years since FDH proposed and I haven't committed. I do not want to be responsible for his two losers. His son is just as bad. After the wedding SD blocked me from FB. And her BM texted me (SD must of gave the bitch my number) that FDH should have sucked it up and not ruined the wedding. I told her I have been watching him suck it up for 9 years with you idiots....lol!!! So she hasn't talked to FDH since Saturday. I am surprised he hasn't called her to beg forgivness and grovel so that he can see his granddaughter. She is very stubborn but I can't see her holding on much longer who will pay her way?
Traditionally that is the
Traditionally that is the fathers role to walk down the aisle. In Jewish religion it is the parents role not just the father. My mother was ill when I got married ~ I told me Dad that I wanted the both of them to walk me but he was hurt but I included my mother when my father n I reached the reverend my mother stood n proclaimed that she n my father were giving me to my husband n she removed my veil.
It's her wedding but HE is entitled to his opinion.
I have a gf who has been married for about 15 years to her hubby. He has crazy EX wife n daughter. On the invitation the new wife was completely eliminated. She is a very giving woman with a huge heart. His daughter tries to tug on heart strings like yours but she stands solid on her views.
Love that your hubby stood strong
Our BM isn't crazy, so I
Our BM isn't crazy, so I don't think I'd be *pissed*... maybe uncomfortable though.
Actually, my SD23 is getting married in a month, and she had been talking about having her dad and her STEPDAD both walk her down the aisle. (This is actually her second stepdad. BM cheated on DH, married the guy she was cheating with, cheated on HIM and then married THAT guy.) However, her mom cheated on her current stepdad and was in the process of divorcing him for the other guy (sense a pattern here?) when the guy she was cheating on decided to go back to his wife instead. So BM got back together with current StepDad, at least until she finds a new guy. I don't think SD is going to have current StepDad help walk her down the aisle at this point, but you never know. THAT would piss me off!
She thinks her father is the
She thinks her father is the ATM. He had the receiption under a pavillion at the park and his friend was the DJ. The wedding cost him a total of $1500. Not a huge amount for a wedding but with a few weeks notice he took a hit in his wallet. I stayed out of it and really didn't want to even go to the wedding. The week before SD said I am thru with planning it is up to FDH and her FDH to do everything. So FDH does all the planning and running around and she pulls the I want mommy and daddy to walk me down the aisle knowing what his response would be. I was thinking the X and SD planned this weeks ago just to burn my ass....lol
Since your FDH paid for and
Since your FDH paid for and arranged everything it is no longer just HER wedding. It DOES sound like the surprise announcement that she wanted both Daddy and Mommy to walk her down the aisle was planned. I would have been pissed too. At least you are not rushing into marriage with FDH. Your SD sounds like a nut job and it isn't going to get any better unless boundaries are set now. I have never been sorry for staying home from my SD's wedding. Have no idea who paid for it (as long as it wasn't me) or who walked her down the aisle. But I have to tell you, if SD would have tried any of that 'Parent Trap' crap I would have left also.
Thank you. The SD called me
Thank you. The SD called me every name in the book via text. I guess she thought that I told FDH not to do it, when I had no idea what was going on until FDH informed me...lol! I am doing the disengage thing. I don't want any part of that hot mess!
Glad you are disengaging. I
Glad you are disengaging. I can tell you from experience you will continue to get the blame for EVERYTHING, no matter if you had nothing to do with it. I've only seen BM a couple of times too. DH and BM divorced at least 2 years before he met me. While at a work reunion a couple of years ago, where BM was nasty as hell to me, some of the people at our table accused me of breaking up the marriage. When I told them I didn't know DH or even live in the area when they divorced, and could prove it, you should have seen the looks on their faces. During the reunion dinner, BM kept trying to flirt with DH. It is amazing what they will do.
Your FDH knows how he feels
Your FDH knows how he feels and did not comprimise those feelings.
Your SD is just plain manipulative. She should have asked long before she did.
As for disengaging, why give up all of the fun you could have barring SD and BM's asses when they spew their toxic bullshit.
Use the facts to torment them. It is much more fun than ignoring their bullshit. }:)
Yeah you are right....Maybe I
Yeah you are right....Maybe I could have some fun with this. I really haven't been around any of them or went to any of their celebrations. Like I said this was the first time I saw the BM. I think what lit a fire under their asses was when the pastor said to FDH that he has never seen such chemistry between two people as he saw in the two of us....The look on the BM's face was priceless....lol
Wow. I used to think about
Wow.
I used to think about how on earth we would get through a skid wedding. Having two adult skids, I thought at least TWO or more marriages maybe happening in the near future :jawdrop:
One is engaged, but ass1 doesn't work just spent almost five years training for a career which is badly paid and job cuts galore , her sapbf hasn't worked for over a year and is back with his parents doing not much at all. So I'm not holding my breath for the ceremony to happen anytime soon. DH is not paying for it all. Not going to happen we have discussed this before, and he agrees not footing the bill for ass1 who has never worked and has lived with the sap bf in the past for over three years.
Luckily, we are in another country so will not even be "pulled" in for the planning I expect, phew.
Ass2 will probably just live with someone and spawn offspring the state will end up supporting....sigh ......
Exactly...she doesn't work.
Exactly...she doesn't work. Her husband works at a pizza place?? They are about to have another baby. A smart young woman would have took the $1500 and used it to live on. Not have a halfed ass wedding with hamburgers and hotdogs??? She thought she and her idiot of a BM would show me. She thought when she popped the surprise on her daddy that both were walking down the aisle with BM that he wouldn't have time to argue all the guest were waiting....FDH told her if she forced the issue he would pack up all the shit he paid for and leave.....LOL