Can you ask him to move out or would that end the relationship? Not everybody is meant to live with other people and there are relationships and even marriages that do better with living apart.

I do not like living with people. I tolerate my husband and I was ok with his daughter EOWE but she was fairly well behaved and I did not feel invaded. I let it be known that it was MY house.

The thing with the ex would have put me off a long time ago.

Since quality time is the name of visitation tell him he's to take his kids camping every weekend as long as weather permits. Get him all the stuff he'll need on-line at Walmart.com. Search engine: gear needed camping. I did that every other weekend and every vacation year around with my kids to relieve my second wife. We live in southern California where year around is possible.

My hubby works 2000 miles away for the railroad. He needs to get his time in, thus wherever they send him, he has to go. He is a good provider and a great husband.

But he is also a Disney Daddy and when we get the kids..I immediately go into panic mode.

I have no kids of my own and really enjoy having the house to myself. The dogs keep me company and I miss him bunches..just hate when his kids come.

I keep my house clean and feel invaded when they come here as they make a complete mess all over the house. They are 12 and 15. I get along with them great but..

I spend an entire week cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. My SD12 has allergies to dog hair so I clean some more. My hubby is a neat freak, so again, I clean some more.

I BEG my hubby to please ask his kids not to make a mess as it drive me nuts. Clutter puts me into panic mode so I spend most of the time the kids are here up in our bedroom.

They have no respect and make a mess everywhere. This includes my hubby who knows I have problems with clutter and get anxiety attacks whenever I feel crowded.

You'd think he'd stop throwing his clothes on the dining room chairs before walking into the bathroom (where the laundry basket is..) and thorw his clothes there??

Nope.

I've begged him to ask the kids to please stop the mess. Begged my hubby to stop the mess also, but nothing changes. They use dishes and just pile them in the sink so the first thing I come down to in the morning is a cluttered kitchen sink full of dirty dishes, jackets kicked underneath the table, etc.

I walk into the bathroom and it's full of towels just laying on the floor. Look in the towel cabinet and the towels are depleted so I get to wash towels.

In addition, SS15 tell me that within three days..he no longer has clean jeans so I get to wash a load of laundry.

As both kids, and Dad sit on their computers and don't do a damned thing, yet expect me to be ready to go when THEY'RE ready to go.

I tell them to just go so I can at least clean up this hole they've created. It drive me nuts so cleaning it up makes me feel better. So does having the place to myself..at least for a few hours.

Soon as they get back, the mess starts again so I go back to my hole in the wall. SD12 knocks on my bedroom door and asks me to come down for dinner..Dad made brats on the grill.

Of course I come down to this total mess in the kitchen..enjoy my burger..and stand at the kitchen sink doing dishes.

Nobody says a word. No thanks for cleaning up after us..nothing.

Hubby came to bed that night and said, "Are you mad at me?"

Yep. Why?? Cos. Cos why?? Cos you just don't get it? What don't I get? The mess. What mess? You don't see a mess? Yeah well, a little mess but not a big one. So you've made a practice of making bigger messes? No..why do you ask? At this point I'm laughing, and said, "The mess you and the kids make. Oh..THAT mess..we'll clean it up before they leave (which was TWO WEEKS LATER..)..why..does it bother you?? Ya think?? No seriously..is that why you're spending so much time up here? Um..YEAH..Oh, he says. That was it..Oh. Then he says, Mad at me? Yep. Why? Cos you're an idiot. And he says, yep..sometimes.

How could I stay mad at that??

Hi, Were you like this before you met him and your skids? I have always had a clutter problem - I can't stand clutter, can't handle crowds in stores, hate wearing a seatbelt in the car because I feel confined and trapped (so I sit on it instead - thank God I haven't been caught yet). If I go to a grocery store that is very crowded, I bail - I have left full carts in the store.

It's like an OCD thing with me but it has gotten easier since the kids are grown and out. No more messes to clean and I find that I am more at ease when it's "my mess only". The more you clean up after your dh and the skids, the more resentful and worn out you are going to be. My dh used to be like you - every piece of furniture had his clothes on them. Finally I took them and left them in a huge pile next to the hamper. I did this daily and he finally stopped decorating the furniture. I never yelled at him for it, just went and did it and if he would ask why I threw his clothes in a pile, I said it wasn't me, it was the housekeeping fairy that magically showed up when I was sleeping

As for the skid telling you he ran out of clean pants - show him how to use the washer and dryer. If that doesn't work - let him run out of clothes - he'll eventually get it.

I used to dread my summers when the skids would show up for the entire summer. Another thing that helped - I made sure I had something to do outside of the home a few nights a week and I also spent some time on the weekends or with vacation time from work going to see my family who live in different states. Since I wasn't home all the time, the house bothered me less and when I stopped doing everything for everyone, they had to pick up where I left off.

Edit to add - just realized - it is YOUR house and they visit, correct? More of a reason you should find some fun stuff to do where you aren't home so they can't come over?

"unless his x wife decides to join them.. She has in the past"

Wait, what??? your SO spends time with his ex camping and playing happy family and you're lamenting your loss of solitude?? i'm not getting something here.