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To do the right thing or do what I want

Rose.Colored.Glasses's picture

So this is prob very selfish on my part. My parents invited us(my bio's, FDH and I) to go vacation with them. Stoked of course. Havent been on vacation in forever. Last minute just between my dad and i, he offered to get SD a plane ticket to come with. I havent said anything to FDH about this yet. .We habe this kid constantly...her mom works part time amd shuffles her around from place to place and nvr has to parent. I rly dont want this kid to come with, it would totally ruin it for me. i was happy gettimg two whole weeks without her. Do i do the right thing, suck it up and invite her? Or do i relish two weeks of peace amd quiet? So should i do the right thing or what i want? Sry about the bad grammar on my cell phone.

Comments

cfmommyof3's picture

How old is your SD? To me this makes a diff. If it was me Id take SD but my SD is 6 and can be managed, plus I don't usually have an issue with her, its usually BM I have issues with. If your SD is older and treats you like shit and doesn't listen, etc...maybe leave her behind...Sounds like she needs some extra BM time anyway Wink

katielee's picture

It's okay to take care of you and do what YOU want every now and then. It's YOUR family paying for the vacation, so go and enjoy it with the people you can enjoy it with. Give yourself permission to leave SD at home so you can enjoy your vacation. It's okay.

twoviewpoints's picture

You're not obligated to take SD. You probably do need a break. If you choose to not invite her though you should at some point let husband know that your parents did offer to take her too and pay for ticket (maybe after you get home, LOL).

You'd not want husband to think your parents deliberately excluded her or let him build any resentment for them not including her. Your father discreetly mentioned it to you, leaving you to make your own decisions. You should own your decision. If husband gets hurt feelings or all sad because his child was excluded, you should be sure he knows it was not your parents doings.

So many posters come here and talk about how in-laws treat this or that kid different/shows favoritism ect...you don't want to create issues where none exist. Own your decisions then get on the plane with your DH/bios and have a good time. Simply explain to DH that you need a break and prefer to just take the bios. Maybe you can take Skid some place fun for a day trip some time or a more local get-away for a weekend.

BethAnne's picture

"Enjoy your trip and time to recharge your stepmom batteries."

This is the best advice. You will be a better more relaxed stepmom when you get back and your SD will befit from that, rather than a stressed out stepmom who wishes her SD hadn't gone away with you and ruined your break. Relax, unwind, enjoy time with your family and remember that there is no need for guilt as SD will get a stepmom better able to cope with her when you get back.

Most Evil's picture

Leave her home and have a great time. Who knows how many vacations you get? And with who?

She is small and has her whole life to go places. Take time with YOUR family for a change!!

newbiemommy's picture

Please don't take her and ruin your time. Your dad probably felt obligated to extend the offer. If she was truly wanted she would have been included from the jump. Plus, how nice of a visit would it really be if you are stressed or upset? Your parents deserve to have some time with a carefree happy you! Don't even give it another thought!

newbiemommy's picture

Please don't take her and ruin your time. Your dad probably felt obligated to extend the offer. If she was truly wanted she would have been included from the jump. Plus, how nice of a visit would it really be if you are stressed or upset? Your parents deserve to have some time with a carefree happy you! Don't even give it another thought!