I ended up leaving my DH for about 5 months. He begged me to come back, so eventually I did. Things are SO much different now. We're still in counseling, but it's working out.
I was on decent terms with SD12 when I left, or so I thought, but when me and BD13 came back, SD threw a fit!!!
DH finally told her that his marriage to me is more important than her whims and wishes.
SD even threatened to go live her mom full time (its 50/ 50 custody now) and DH has let this kid get away with murder fearful that SD would go to her mom's full time and he would have to pay child support. But DH told SD flat out that if she wanted to go live with her mom full time, she could.
So SD changed her tune and told her dad she's glad me and BD are here now. But however much I disliked this child before-it's a hundred times more now.
See with me and BD here, SD doesn't get to be FIRST at everything, she has to do chores just like BD, and all of the money isn't spent only on her!! Plus, me and my daughter are both physically fit and SD is around 50 pounds overweight and she can't stand that right in her face but it's not our fault that she is fat!
I'm having at of hard time not hating the SD because she tried with all she had to keep me and BD out of our home and tried to keep Dh and I from reconciling-all for her own SELFISH reasons.
Meanwhile, SD fakes friendly-it must be very uncomfortable for her that I KNOW AND MY BD KNOWS what can think while she's yapping is, 'shut your fat pie hole slob...I hope when you grow up, you end up with a SD just like you.'
I hate to feel this way, and I hope it gets better, but I am having a hard time forgiving this kid when I know she'd love nothing more than for me to drop dead.
On the other hand, it's at GREAT that DH is FINALLY standing up to SD about me and about our marriage and he's FINALLY over the fear that he may have to pay child support. I'm glad he's finally being honest-he actually verbalized to me the other day: "I so look forward to the weeks that SD isn't here."