I am an idiot
I am an idiot for believing that buying the skids expensive gifts, the new xbox, the fanciest rollerblades on the market, bikes, we would create an amicable relationship and they would " like " me. They don't. Save your money or give it to charity if you don't know what to do with it.
I am an idiot for believing I could somehow " fix " them and create healthy, balanced children by creating "experiences " and getting them interested in our natural world, the ocean, the woods, animals, by taking them on trips, and horseback riding and fishing instead of living their lives through a remote control and an avatar, I was wrong. They couldn't care less. Sit there, get fat, play your mindless games day and night.
I am an idiot for thinking they would care that my house is always clean, smells nice, that there are pottery barn sheets on their beds, and flowers on the table. I thought they would like to come to the house because its " nice ". They don't. They are pigs used to living in pig sty, and I am sure pigs think a clean barn is " weird " too.
I am an idiot for thinking I could be a good role model to SD by showing her that a woman can be anything she wants to be, have a successful career and be responsible with money, when all she wants is to be like " mommy " - constantly broke and up to her eyeballs in credit cards and bitter. Shop shop shop, buy buy buy, until the last card is maxed, be 40 something with not a pot to piss in. Be my guest.
I am an idiot for thinking the skids would get " used " to the relationship I have with their father, by showing them what a good loving relationship looks like between grown ups, when they will forever blame me for the failure of their parents to have a successful marriage.
I am good. I am at peace now, I tried, didn't work, and so life will now go on. And now they can go fu** themselves.
Whoa! I like you! LOL- other
Whoa! I like you!
LOL- other than expensive gifts, we are the same. The most expensive thing I've ever bought SD is a 10$ pair of earrings....
SD is 14 and I keep thinking one day she will realize that being a strong woman with an education will be her salvation.
I hope she understands that sleeping with men and collecting children for CS payments is not a career. I hope she realizes that lying and manipulating will not get her far. I hope it dawns on her one day the sacrifices and BS her father went through just to see her.
Well its over. Lurk around
Well its over. Lurk around here a few times a day so others can learn from your experience.
Thank you. I am taking notes
Thank you.
I am taking notes on your words.
Well said. Well done.
love you all, soldier on, be
love you all, soldier on, be selfish, live a good life !
these two: "I am an idiot for
these two:
"I am an idiot for thinking I could be a good role model to SD by showing her that a woman can be anything she wants to be, have a successful career and be responsible with money, when all she wants is to be like " mommy " - constantly broke and up to her eyeballs in credit cards and bitter. Shop shop shop, buy buy buy, until the last card is maxed, be 40 something with not a pot to piss in. Be my guest.
I am an idiot for thinking the skids would get " used " to the relationship I have with their father, by showing them what a good loving relationship looks like between grown ups, when they will forever blame me for the failure of their parents to have a successful marriage"
are exactly me....
Well said! Sad it went that
Well said! Sad it went that way, but at least you're at peace with it (or at least appear to be).
When I first got into this
When I first got into this relationship ( I am early 40's childless career type woman ) a colleague said to me ..." whatever you do, you MUST make sure you have an " easy " life " - I dismissed it, I thought how hard could these be, 2 little kids, I get them fixed up in no time , well... she was right and I want to shout it to all step moms/dads on this forum.. have an easy life. You did not create this, you are not responsible.. my mantra.. didn't cause it.. cant fix it.. cant change it.. take care of yourself, and your relationship first and foremost. You are not the parent. These kids have parents already. Make sure your partner understands that you are not " punishing " anybody with your emotional remoteness. You are in fact protecting the relationship and your sanity. I am lucky my partner understands this. I tolerate skids when they are here and physically and emotionally do my own thing most of the time, develop your own hobbies, circle of friends, volunteer somewhere, run errands. Close the door, the door in your house and the door in your head. Takes practice and I am not 100 % there yet either, but work on it and it gets better xo
That's exactly it! I wasted
That's exactly it! I wasted so much time trying to get people to understand what i went through...
I would get,
'but she's a child.'
'oh- you can't blame her'
'you're the adult'
'you knew he had a kid when you married him.'
It got me constant fights with DH and a home life I hated. Now? I blissfully don't care. SD wants to be an unlikable brat? Coolio. I smile and nod my head and pour more wine.
Man I sooooo wish that bm
Man I sooooo wish that bm would pop out another kid!!!! That would be so totally awesome bc then sd would crap her pants!! Lol!! But I guess bm's one of the few that figured out she could spend more on herself if she has less kids. She only has sd and a then a boy with the stepdad. And I think she's pushing about 38 and the bro is already 8 maybe 9 or so..then sd14. Plus she has health issues. I don't see it happening. But it would be awesome!!
I get so sick of hearing people say...but she's just a child, why do you get so mad, it's not her fault!! and the whole you knew he had a kid..that is total crap. People need to take some responsibility for their kids actions and their actions. Stop copping out on everything!