Apparently my SD8 has had issues with holding her bowels in since she was 3-4yrs old. She is 8 now and still holds her bowels in. She will go a week or two without going when with BM. The doctors and specialists said to give SD8 laxatives and stool softeners. Of course BM never does! We have the skids EOWE and Thursdays after school til 7pm. BM will buy pants that are 2-3 sizes bigger than what she wears bc her stomach is soo bloated! When holding in her bowels, she ends up soiling her self and will sit in it with No problem! Part of the reason she still holds her bowels is fear of the pain from how large the bowel becomes, the other part is pure Laziness! She will refuse to use the restroom! Before bed is always a fight to get her to go potty, even to just pee! She still wets the bed almost every time bc she refuses to go potty before bed! I am getting very tired of having to wash her sheets every night she is here. I understand kids have accidents, I really do, but she has them out of Laziness!!! And I'm extremely tired of finding shitty panties hidden all over the house! Tired of having to throw out countless pairs of panties after only being worn 1-2 times, having to wash out the shit before I can wash them. I starting refusing to rinse them off! I made her rinse them and BM and I got into it bc BM said I was embarrassing SD8 and degrading her! No.. She is 8 years old! If she shits herself, she can rinse them off! BM enables SD8 to be lazy and to continue to soil herself! BM even still cleans her up after she does bc SD8 will throw a fit about having to clean her own ass! FDH makes her clean herself off after a huge blow out of course! We have to constantly replace pack after pack of panties! Not only will she sit in the shitty panties but she will lie about having an accident, even when you can seriously smell the shit! I have had to put covers on all our living room sofas and chairs etc so I can wash the shit smell out of them. I don't even want her sitting in anything with fabric. And I certainly don't want her on Our bed!! That's an issue between FDH.. I'm sorry but I don't want our king bed ruined. And I certainly don't want her laying on our bed. But it's ok for my kids to sit on our bed bc they don't shit themselves or have accidents and sit in it! It's embarrassing going out in public with them, not only bc of their horrible manners but bc of the non-stop accidents with SD8. We went to McD's one day and I could tell she had to use the restroom! She was walking like she had a load in her pants trying to hold it in. I fought with her to use the potty there but of course she said she didn't have to! So they played and next thing I know.. Other parents were checking their little ones diapers and the kids all came out of the play area and say down with their families. The play area was empty! Bc none of the kids wanted to play with SD8 bc she smelled like straight shit! Of course she lied about it. And a parent came up to me and said I think Your daughter had an accident, not number 1 but number 2! ..::Sigh::.. I made sure to make it known she was my SD. But talk about embarrassing!! I don't know what to do anymore! We have her the laxatives and softeners but she will still try to hold it and soil all over herself! And of course sit in it!! She has even come over with blisters all over her bottom bc BM doesn't pay attention to when her own daughter has accidents! She slept in shitty panties at BM's went to school in same panties, even though BM still dresses her, and came over after 5pm that day with the same panties on!! It's frustrating! FDH and I have say down with SD8 and talked to her about how harmful it is to hold her bowels etc but nothing seems to stick in her head! Any Suggestions?