Objections from SS6
It seems that every time my SS6, Ched comes here for his weekend, & when Sunday rolls around, he expresses he doesn't want to go back to Mommy's house. He doesn't throw a fit, but he does get sad, tears start and he just looks so forlorn. It's almost heart breaking to witness this.
What we say to him is that if we had our choice, he would stay with us all the time, because we love it when he comes to see us (which is true!)
The Judge says we have to take him back to Mommy's house, or daddy will get in BIG trouble with mommy.
It makes us wonder, WHY he says that so much lately? The one thing we think is different is that with him being here, he's the only little one around. There are 3 adults living in this house--his dad, me and my 21 y.o. daughter. Most likely he gets more attention here, compared to at his mom's house. He has a 10 year old sister, and a 15 year old sister living there, plus a 16 year old sister living with her dad, about 250 miles away. So he has 2 sisters directly vying for time with mom & trying to get her attention, along with him, so I can see why he likes it here. My 21 year old loves being around Ched--she never had a little brother, so she just enjoys the mind of a 6 year old.
His mom is living with an older guy (about 20 years older than she is!) and some of the things Ched has told us makes us wonder how bad it is over there.
One example is that Ched told his father, "I'm not allowed to touch the walls in Mommy's new house." EJ asked him what he meant, and he replied, "I mean, I can't touch any walls with my hands or fingers." EJ picked up Ched, and said, "Well guess what, buddy, you can touch ANY WALL YOU WANT!" And so Ched was putting his hands on the walls...EJ even picked up Ched high enough that Ched touched the ceiling with his hands! (low ceilings in our bedrooms.) Ched had this big ol' grin on his face.
I believe another reason why Ched enjoys it here is that he can play with his toys anywhere in the house, not just his bedroom. We do NOT have a showcase home. It's a very comfy home, a lil' cluttered, but clean. I think he feels comfortable in this home.
Anyone else go through this? Any suggestions?
Thanks
- Stepmom2Ched's blog
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Comments
I think this is normal. He
I think this is normal. He probably misses his Dad and he probably does get more attention from you guys since you only get to see him on the weekends. He may also try to make his Mom look bad to make his Dad feel better and vice versa, he may even cry to his Mom that he doesn't want to come to your house. He could also be doing this alot more lately because Mom's older guy might be setting some more boundaries than little guy is used to. I think most kids go through this, but keep your ears open to make sure nothing else is going on (abuse, neglect, ect.)
no but I think it is great.
no but I think it is great. My SD stays with us Wed and EOW she wants to stay 50/50 and has expressed disappiontment that her BM won't agree. But no tears, her situation is good at BMs. She just wants to spend more time with her brothers.
It must be hard.