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SD basic manipulation or tip of the iceberg

rns12's picture

Submitted by rns12 on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 9:00am

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Step/Bio Father's Den

SD and her friend want to go "ding dong ditch" a neighbor boys house; mom refuses to allow her to leave the house. Later that evening stepdaughter fabricates a story that ends with me allegedly calling her "stupid". This becomes the basis for her departure from the house with friend. When mom calls daughter to ask where she is she says "Im tired of him calling me stupid and had to leave." When pressed she then states "He made me feel stupid" but cant offer specifics. She ding dong ditches the neighbor boys house while away and then returns home as if nothing happened.

Its clear to Mom and I that calling her stupid/making her feel stupid was that fabricated excuse she created to exit the home to do what she wanted. Its the first time she has lied about my behavior in order to justify her actions and its got me thinking "what will she do next".

Thoughts? tips on how to handle it? Its still fresh enough to warrant some affirmative action.

daddyrob's picture

Submitted by daddyrob on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 9:10am

How old is SD? I can only say that if she tried it now, and has ANY success, she will do it again. IMO, she needs to be met with stern repercussions for lying on you, and then doing what she wanted. However, I have also learned that these stern repercussions need to come from Mom, and Mom alone.

BadNanny's picture

Submitted by BadNanny on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 9:39am

Be careful! Make sure you take her to therapy and put it on the record that she is lying, just in case she will accuse you of much worse...At this point, I would tell her bio parents that you are not comfortable being with her alone due to her false accusations. Let them pay the price for raising this "prize-fighter"...

farting_glitter's picture

Submitted by farting_glitter on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 9:58am

agreed Echo...wayyyy to many "parents" rely on therapy..."my kid lied, I have to take them to therapy" "my kid skipped school, let me take them to therapy" "my kid stole, time for therapy".... :sick:

JUST BE A PARENT...ffs...............

BadNanny's picture

Submitted by BadNanny on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 10:02am

I never lied. My kids don't lie. We never had to. We were loved and actually punished worse if we DID lie. And yes, therapy, at least for the adults, is a powerful tool in parenting. Would you do surgery on your own body or let the pros do it?

farting_glitter's picture

Submitted by farting_glitter on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 10:15am

i'm pretty sure you are lying right now....like Echo said....EVERYBODY lies at one point in their life...some on a daily basis...some only once a week....but everybody does it.....EVERYBODY...even kids *gasp*.....

ENuff's picture

Submitted by ENuff on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 9:50am

So she had a trantrum and left the house ???

Did you at all say ~ that the idea of ding dong ditching was stupid ??

I am a little confused ??

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 10:09am

Not all kids lie, neither of mine have or do now...Never was worth it to them to do. They tell us everything. My BS18 is physically incapable of it. Trust me, I heard every drinking story his first semester at college. I almost wish he wouldn't tell me, but I am glad he does, so we can discuss it...

As for this SD. Tread carefully, she is setting you up and will do it again, because she got away with it.

Freshstart's picture

Submitted by Freshstart on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 9:08pm

What I dislike about your story is that she is using the step parent as her natural go to and punching bag excuse. Thats what I would want to see stop straight away.