So much to talk about, so little time.

Long story short, SS was with us this weekend which meant he gets to be treated like royalty. SS asked if he could have some friends over and we said yes. All they wanted to do was play on the xbox and maybe watch a movie.

I asked how many friends he was thinking about and SS said “I dunno, maybe 3 or 4”.

I said okay but before anyone is allowed over, he is to help us clean the house.

Unfortunately, SS’s version of cleaning the house means pulling the bathroom trick every 20 minutes or so. It was only after I threatened him with calling his friends myself telling them they can’t come over because SS wasn’t doing his assigned chores did SS finally get his butt in gear.

Alright….So SS, friend’s come over….

You all ready for this STalk? Cuz what I am about to write defies explanation.

SS’s friends were 2 guys….and a GIRL!

I sh*t you not. I thought for a sec this girl was one of the guy’s sister or something.

Nope. This girl is an actual girl friend. As in, girl friend = "a friend who happens to be female".

The girl’s name Vicky. I don’t know much about her, apart from the fact that apparently she has a stepfather who has full custody of her.

DW was in absolute HEAVEN.

“OMG! She’s soooo cute! Don’t you think she’s cute? My son has a girlfriend! I’m ecstatic!”

I don’t blame DW for being excited about this, but she kept “intruding” on them in an effort to satisfy her curiosity. “How did you all meet? Do you guys have class together? Etc.”

At one point I had to pull DW aside.

“Would you STOP it!” I said. “You’re embarrassing him!”

“Do you think she likes him? Are they going out? I think they’re going out. After all, SS is good looking. *GASP* Do you think they kissed!?”

“What the….? Are you drunk?”

“You don’t think my son is worthy of a female companion?”

“Your son has stuffed his face full of Doritos and hasn’t brushed his teeth in 2 days!!!”

“I think they’re so cute together!”

“She might be paired up with one of the other two boys…”

“How do you know?”

“Huh?….I! DON’T! KNOW! And more importantly...NEITHER DO YOU! Now come on…Let’s leave them be.”

Except she couldn’t leave them be. When it got late, Vicky said she had to go home. I said I would give her a lift but she quickly declined saying that she would rather walk. SS accompanied her.

DW walked them to the end of the driveway telling her how very nice it was to meet her and that she is welcome over at anytime. DW was really pouring it on thick. Then, as SS and Vicky walked off down the road, DW turned to walk back towards the house, but then quickly dove into the neighbor’s bushes to spy on them. Unfortunately for DW, she’s about as stealthy as Flaming yellow bulldozer on full throttle. The racket she made caused the neighbor’s dog to bark and I am certain SS and Vicky knew they were being watched because they walked side by side being careful not to touch each other and they kept looking back over their shoulder.

I’d write some more, but the details are still sketchy….