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I hate EOW Mondays!

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:36am

Let the turmoil begin. I am new here to this site. Excuse my venting.

My DH has 50/50 custody every other week. This starts the begining of our week with his kids. My son is with us all the time, since his father is deceased. Since it is Monday they will get off the bus and be with us until next Monday morning. SD 13 and SS 11 have attitude on Monday nights. It is like a re-training day. I have disengaged about 60% as of now. I am trying to get to 100% but it is hard for me. I am strict and DH and BM are not. My issues are always with my SD, she is spoiled and obnoxious. Only way I can explain her is she is what I would call a "Heather". It is all about her all the time. She sucks the life out of me when we have her.

I just dread this evening. DH will try and make everyone peaceful. I will hide in my home office or go to the gym. That helps me. But, then I feel like I am avoiding my own child. I can't win. Also, SD is supposed to be punished all week this week for a stunt she pulled last week on me. She called me a jerk twice for not letting her take clothes to her mom's on our off week. It is a house rule that DH has had since the divorce years ago. She knew it and tried to sneak into the house when she knew he wouldn't be home. She freaked out on me and started the name calling. So the punishment is supposed to be for the whole week. No Facebook or phone or tv all week. Yeah right! We will see how long that lasts. Even if it does last, the whole house will be miserable because of it. This week is going to suck!!! We had taken her and my son to a Journey concert on Saturday. I never understood why we were taking her on our off week. She doesn't like the band and my son loves the band. She sulked through the whole concert. I tried to ignore it, but when I noticed all the texting, I finally said to my DH you need to take the phone away. I had already told mine that he couldn't during the concert. I didn't pay for tickets for them to do that. He took her phone and I get the look!! I can deal with the look I just don't like the melodrama that comes with it everytime. She is miserable so she makes the rest of us that way.

She may be punished all week, but I am not going to listen to the misery.

Comments

MeanOleMe's picture

Submitted by MeanOleMe on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 9:44am

Can you plean something with your son? Maybe the two of you going for dinner?

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours" Wayne Dyer

youngmum21's picture

Submitted by youngmum21 on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:00am

Sorry if there's nothing helpful in this, but I wish we did every other week. My SS is with us EVERY weekend without exception, so there is never any exclusive time for me and my partner to be a family with our baby daughter. I know if he knew I felt like this, my boyfriend would say I was selfish, but he doesn't know how difficult it is to have someone else's child taking all the attention every week.

I agree with the lady above though, maybe switching to Fridays could work for you?

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:07am

We have to deal with BM's horrible work schedule. It used to be crazier, this is actually better. We used to alternate during the week two times and last spring went to this. Right about the time we moved in together of course. If you counted up the hours we actually have them about 60% of the time. They get off the bus on our off weeks here and stay until 6:30 on the days that mom works late. The kids take our bus every day because their Mom lives in the subdivision across the street. Also, I work from home in the afternoons and she wanted consistency for them.

Mondays are cranky kids and homework and everything else that a normal family puts up with. For us it is twice the issues. My son and I do go to Scouts and Soccer during the week, but, he has tons of homework himself, so that usually takes precedence and then his activities after that. He is also 14 and doesn't like to do that much with "MOM". So I hibernate in my office or my bedroom, to stay away from the commotion. Recently I have been making DH cook at least three meals on the week his kids are here. He can take some of the abuse over that as well. Slowly disengaging.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 09/21/2009 - 10:51am

Thanks for the advice. Problem is I can't stay away the whole week. Dinner out with my son is an hour at most. Also, when I do it, his kids ask why they don't get to go with. Also, eventually we have to come home. I have even thought about living in two separate houses for these weeks. But, that is not fair to my son and why should I have to go to such extremes.

My issues are more the fact that SD and SS have no limits or boundaries. She texts over 16,000 texts a month. Yes you read that right. She is proud of that. SS plays video games and watches TV for hours and hours. There are no limits for these kids. My son plays video games, but he is at least in other activities to break up his day. These kids are not in anything. If they do, there grades drop to C's and D's. DH doesn't think it is a problem and thinks I am over reacting. Add all this to the fact that they are disrespectful and rude to me and I spend the whole week trying not to speak my mind. It kills me. She will talk about stuff at the dinner table, things I don't approve of and all I ever say when it comes up is that if she were my child the answer would be no. Dh just sits there. I see problems in our future with this girl trying to grow up too fast. Why don't her parents????