Just got back on this site. It seems my internet life and my personal life can get kind of overwhelming. I try hard to make the rounds with all the things I belong to and run online, but sometimes I just slack. I am just really not that much into sites such as facebook and myspace, I think they leave more trails for people to track you down and annoy you much less complete annoying strangers!

My husband has been "sick" for the past 4 weeks or so. He suffers from that horrible mental illness bipolar disorder and the added stress of his job doesn't help. It's so bad that he literally can't sleep and because of that he has episodes of paralysis (what normally occurs during REM sleep) while he's awake. It's not good and it's a horrible illness for anyone to suffer through. I seriously beg everyone to have compassion for people with mental illness.

Anyway, my beloved had a great shrink for several years, but during this last "episode" no one was able to get a hold of him and he never returned anyone's calls. (Extremely bizarre and unprofessional!) Trying to get a shrink on short notice is nearly impossible, but I found one and he seems good. So the last week or so my honey has been having his meds adjusted and now I need a support group for that as well! It's very hard, but I love him and he does need me (as much as I shiver at the thought). Anyway I found a NAMI support group in my area and I'm going to try and make their meetings. I just sometimes don't know what to do and it's very hard. It's very hard when I hear over and over that the only thing that keeps him from offing himself is his kids. I know he thinks of me too, but he just talks about them and I feel like chopped liver.

You can't take everything that anyone says while they're mentally screwed up seriously and that's hard to accept sometimes. You think you're talking to them, but you're really working with the Salvador Dali version that just won't make sense no matter how hard you look at it. Life become real surreal when dealing with the mentally ill.