About 2 years ago, I started dating a guy with 2 kids. I actually wasn't sure if I wanted kids of my own- I have a hectic career. But, I soon fell in love with his kids- at the time, they were 8 and 10. While dad and BM shared 50 50 custody, the kids are with us most of the time. Part of it is that there are two of us on the dads side to watch the kids/ drive them places, etc. As far as I know, BM is single. From the start the situation was tough. When I first started dating SO (significant other) he received a document from BM's lawyer requesting (well demanding) information about me. BM wanted to know my full name, where I'm from, a list of all moving violations, whether I have a criminal record, my social security number, a list of all past roommates and their criminal records, and the details of our relationship "romantic and sexual." We sent back some of the information- my name, where I'm from, and a few other things. Then we got an angry communication in return- demanding to know my FULL name as I had only given my first and last name. The other side threatened to hold SO in "contempt." should be not provide all data within a couple days. Some of the items provided amusement for my friends at work- the request for details "romantic and sexual" provided ample fodder for jokes. I actually wrote an email to BM stating that I was very disappointed to be receiving such documents after I did nothing to her. She never emailed back.

Oh- an aside- sure there are communications from her lawyer- but my relationship with BM is civil. She and I run into each other around down and we talk just like 2 normal people.

Anyway, most of the communications from her lawyer centered on SO. Some were about the kids- she threatened to fine SO 500 dollars any time the kids were found to have walked to school unaccompanied. I took a video while escorting them home one afternoon. The video was 7 minutes long and included younger step daughter checking out some flowers. We live 300 yards from the school. There are no busy roads as we approach the school from the back.

We actually have had a parenting coordinator involved in our case. She decided that the kids should not be allowed to walk to school alone, but that SO should not be fined 500 dollars. That was a bit odd to me- how could we not trust two kids to walk 300 yards, at the same time many other kids are traveling the same direction? The parenting coordinator has made many dubious rulings.

Another thing that happened during my first year in the relationship- older SD decided to join a sports team. For her, it was more fun than competitive given her age. But, BM noted that per the letter of the decree, she does not need to take the kids to activities picked by SO during "her" time. So, older SD was not allowed to go to games and practices on BM's days. The coach showed SO a long and rambling email from BM explaining that older SD would not be joining the team on "her" days. This basically caused problems for the team, although coach allowed older SD to play when she could, as opposed to punishing her because of her mom's choices. BM spent tens of thousands of dollars going through the courts to make sure she could reserve the right to refuse to take her daughter to games and practices. In the end, the judge ruled that BM could do just what she was doing, given the letter of the decree. But, the judge informed BM that her daughters would no longer speak to her after the age 18 should she continue to behave the way she was behaving. After this SD was allowed to play on her team.

For the purpose of this blog, I am with holding certain details. Like where we live, or what type of sport SD10 plays. I am also not going to mention my profession or that of BM.