Don't want SS around bio daughters...
Been married for 2 years, 1st marriage, love her I know she's the one. She has 2 kids from previous marriage girl is 14 boy is 13. Now we also have 2 bio kids 2 daughters ages 3 months and a year and a half. So I'm not really sure how to word this but i'll just put it out there. I don't like the step son cuddling with my bio daughter. At first it was like fine hugs kiss good night. But now if he is in the room with her he just hones in on her no matter what is goin on, and I mean anything. When it first started I was like ya it's just cuz everything is new. But it's like he can't help himself. I just caught him checking out naked chicks on the internet and he said it was the second time he did it. So now i'm Mr Nazi in the house. So he's at the age where he's exploring his sexuality a little bit right, but I literally separate him from her or do what I can to keep him off her all the time now. Of course my wife sees this and is like her little son could never do wrong. And maybe she's right. I'm just confused on what are the right lines to be drawn between step kids. ESPECIALLY SINCE THE STATISTICS ARE SO MUCH HIGHER in blended families. One question I ask myself and my wife is, were the step kids this "cuddly" when they were younger? The answer is no they weren't so why is it okay now. So I basically have been getting progressively worse and I'm to the point I barely let him sit with her on the couch now and especially all the crap I've been reading on the internet really freaks me out. I would prefer to be a super restrictive and protective father of my daughters virtue than have something potentially catastrophic happen to our family. Thanks for any advice on how to deal with this.
I always say follow your
I always say follow your intuition. If something feels wrong, it probably is, or at least has a high potential to be. Hell, DH will probably not allow SS (his own bio child) alone with our daughter just because he's also heard one too many stories.
Better safe then sorry.
As children, my parents and grandparents didn't even allow us to be alone with our much older, opposite gendered cousins (I have a younger sister) simply because for something like this, there is no room for error. Had to be within eye sight all the time, Some may have called them paranoid, but they'd rather be paranoid and have us safe, than careless and allow irrevocable damage.
thanks for the feedback much
thanks for the feedback much appreciated
thanks for the feedback much
thanks for the feedback much appreciated
My S/O's 14yro nephew is a
My S/O's 14yro nephew is a sweet kid but I get uncomfortable vibes from him as well. My FSD is three and the thought of her being alone with him makes my skin crawl. I don't know what it is and I don't dare ever say anything to my S/O about it. I'd say follow your gut.
I absolutely agree w/the
I absolutely agree w/the previous posters. You do WHATEVER it takes to protect your own kid because nobody else is going to.
Late to the party, here...but
Late to the party, here...but I wanted to say that I also do not think you should ignore those feelings.
In our situation, the SKs are the same gender and are the only kids. Since their mother decided it was okay for them to have smart phones, go figure the oldest one discovered a bunch of porn apps and was looking at them uninterrupted for god knows how long until BM pulled her head out of her ass one day long enough to question why a 12 year old had a passlock on his phone.
When she got in, she found the porn apps were actually *hidden* apps, so SK knew it wasnt ok. In addition, she found that he and a little girl had been exchanging inappropriate pictures.
12 year olds.
Well, she decided to not take his cell phone away or make any other effort to prevent this from happening again...and I'm sure he continues to view porn, probably while in our home. The issue is that SHE pays for them, and that makes things sticky for FI if he wants to take the phones away while they are at our house.
So, even with my limited background in psychology, I'm very concerned about what goes on in his head all day. Sometimes he gives me the creeps.
If I read it right, your SS
If I read it right, your SS like to cuddle your 3m/o and or your 1.5 y/o. AND he's been caught with porn?
I think you have two separate issues on your hands. Your SS lack of boundaries (pain in the ass but probably not that uncommon) and his discovering porn (pain in the ass, not that uncommon).
But,
I wouldnt immediately assume the two are related. My SS was always in our babies' face until we stepped in and made him stop, EVERY time. He's finally laying off. NOW we discover he is interested in porn (duh, 12yo boy), so we have to tackle that issue.
You might be relating the two because of a feeling of a lack of power to be able to stop either one. Doesnt mean they are related.