10 yr old with secret facebook account posting pics and friending adult males?!?!
Hi. First time posting. Looking for some advice soon please! I live with my bf, been in his daughter's life since she was 3 off and on. He has his 10 yr old daughter every other weekend and summer and xmas extended visits. I just found a fb page in his daughter's name that no one else knew she had. She is posting provocative pics, friends with a ton of adult males in and out of the US and putting up posts such as "Who wants my phone #?" I am freaking out here and appalled because god knows what she has already been exposed to via private messages on facebook. My question is "How best do I address this with my boyfriend to keep him and myself calm and thinking rationally about next steps?" Also, where do we go from here as far as addressing it with the BM and stepfather? What next? This is only the tip of the iceberg I think in so far as why is she acting like this at 10??! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I'm too close to the situation to not let emotion cloud my thinking. I definitely think the first step is getting ahold of the fb account and her ipod touch (which BM gave her for xmas against our better judgment) before she has a chance to erase anything so we can see exactly what all she's been doing and seeing. I have checked the posts and they're all occurring on weekends we don't have her so it's not happening over at our house.
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thanks. i'm hoping we can get
thanks. i'm hoping we can get cooperation from BM and company as well. I should've specified that this page was already under a fake name, so she's already on that roll. i'm more worried to what's been going on behind the scenes (ie: private messages) and what is she going to try next if she's already acting like this at 10 years old. it's crazy! thanks for the advice.
Tell your BF what you found
Tell your BF what you found and then it's in his hands. Let him decide what should or shouldn't be done about it. This little girl shouldn't be doing this, but this isn't your kid. It's his and BM's, and it will be up to them to decide how to proceed.
Once you've told him, try not to badger him into doing what you want.
Also, remember that you are assuming her mother doesn't know about it. She very well may.
I would take shots of her FB
I would take shots of her FB page and talk to BF. Hopefully he will call BM immediately and talk with her about it. If she doesn't do anything about it, and/or if he does not call BM, you should call CPS and give them these photos. Anonymous CPS reports can be made. My heart goes out to this child.
While it's definitely not
While it's definitely not appropriate, I don't think it's unsual for kids to want to test out social media at this age. When my son was 10, I told him he couldn't have a FB page. He made one anyway under an alias and was getting up in the middle of the night to go on it and play games. All his FB "friends" were in China because that's who was up at that time. I was LIVID when I found out, he was in huge trouble and I started disabling the WIFI when I went to bed after that.
As for the content being provacative, I think that is a cry for attention. I doubt she really understands what she's doing, only that it gets her attention. I hope your DH and the BM take this seriously for the sake of your SD.
"As for the content being
"As for the content being provacative, I think that is a cry for attention. I doubt she really understands what she's doing, only that it gets her attention. I hope your DH and the BM take this seriously for the sake of your SD."
Agreed.