If I didn't have this site, I'd probably explode
So, DH has been trying to get SD20 down for a visit ever since we moved (more than a year ago). She's OK with him coming to see her, but other way around, not so much.
SD20 is not allowed to stay at our house (long story, trust me it's justified). So when he told me he wanted her to come down, I said, "You're not paying for her hotel room, are you?" "Oh, no." Fast forward to this weekend, I walk into our bedroom and catch him booking a hotel room with our debit card. I ask what is going on, he says SD20 is coming down NEXT weekend. I ask why he is paying for her room. He's all surprised, "Well, she's not working." She lost her job for her own fault and has been too busy partying to even bother looking for another one. Why is that my/our problem?
By the way, over the weekend, I got it out of DH that SD got a D in the ONE college class she was taking, which necessitated spending $1000 so she could live in the dorms for less than three months. Turns out her overall GPA is only 2.5.
Then DH pulls the "I am completely crazy and have no comprehension where my wife is coming from or sympathy for her plight in this situation" move. Tells me SD20 will be here and actually asks ME to let her stay at our house (No) or take our two BDs to see her because DH works Saturdays (Again, No). Is he kidding? Then he starts pulling the "feel sorry for me" card by saying, well, then BDs will only be able to see SD20 on Friday or Sunday. Um, OK, so go see her then. His parents live here and they are supposedly one of the big reasons SD20 is coming down. He and BDs can see SD20 Friday AND Sunday for all I care, her grandparents can see her Saturday. So what's the problem?
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Comments
AARGGG!! I know your DH said
AARGGG!! I know your DH said he would divorce you if you separated finances....but I would do it anyway!!
"I know your DH said he would
"I know your DH said he would divorce you if you separated finances."
From all appearances no great loss. . .in fact your financial situation would probably IMPROVE without constantly bailing out SD20. That and the CS that you would have to get from him (he might actually stop enabling SD20 if he had to pay CS!)
Oh, we had this discussion,
Oh, we had this discussion, but more revolving around his contribution to this household. He acknowledges that even if we split costs by percentages based on our respective income, he could not contribute his share. Still doesn't stop him from spending on SD20 though, does it?
Well he might have to slow
Well he might have to slow down spending on her if he had a CS obligation to you. Not that I'm advocating a breakup but it might take something like that to jolt him into reality.