skids and BM spent their "inheritance" already...
If you leave skids part of your assets you are really leaving something to children you didn't create. DH was broke and busted when you met him and YOU helped build him back up after skids and BM picked him clean. They shouldn't get anything in my opinion. Give it to the children you have together and that's it.

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

Combined our finances. So.. my kids even the skid is still young... he is not a mature adult, so my situation is different than yours.. but... this has come up previously.. My daughter and My son will inherit all of MY things.. so like any jewellery I have, my Life insurance, my investments, my RRSPs etc. My Skid will probably inherit whatever my DH husband has.. they will ALL inherit our joint things such as the house (divided 3 ways), and things like that. My DH balks at this because my EX is very wealthy. His family is very very wealthy.. my son stands to inherit a lot (especially from his grandfather)... so knowing this, my husband thinks I should give more to his kid???! I'm like sorry.. I don't think so.. it will never be 'even' with my kid..if that's what he's getting at... and your kid has two parents... I'm not one of them.. he won't be getting MY stuff... plain and simple. Between DH and BM... they can provide for their own child..and if they haven't thought ahead.. it's really not my issue.. and it's not their business how much my kid will get.. it's probably not even my business... he's just one of the lucky ones! I told DH that I will inherit my mothers tupperware, and her debt... just as he will from his parents.. that's life.

Being a stepkid myself, I would be very hurt if my Dad left me nothing and left my half sisters everything. As a matter of fact, if something happens to my Dad and Stepmom at the same time, I will have full custody of my sisters (8 & 11), but then again I've worked for everything I have and have never had a car bought for me and my parents split the college bill, and I had to work since age 15, ect. But it is also not your skids fault that their mother is a shopaholic and huge spender, and if your husband stayed with BM he would have had to pay for college anyway and cars and whatever else he bought them. I would however put some kind of stipulation on SD20's inheritance. I can understand why you wouldn't want to give her a hand out if she doesn't want to work. You do have to remember that he has 4 kids, not just 2. And your kids would get an inheritance from you and your husband too, just like the stepkids would get an inheritance from thier dad and mom. I do totally understand how you feel though. They are grown adults. Maybe give them a little something and give your 2 children the bulk? That makes more sense to me than totally cutting them out. Its a tough decision. Good Luck.

My dh and i made our will and we did not include his kids. He left the house , car and everthing with his ex for them. So no double dipping on my stuff. My dh also was left with nothing to his name, i helped him build up himself and i'll be damned if his kids will inherite my things when they dont' want to live iwth us.
My husbands personal life insurance policy has his daughters name but mine does not and i clearly indicated that my son is to inherit the house and everything we accumulate together for our kids. And he agreed that nothing we have will go to his kids.
BUt either way, i still have set aside money for my son , in case he's too young if something happens to me and his dad spends it all. My dh is not good with money:( I also put a clause for my brothers to be in charge of the cash for my son, not my dh.
I personally would not include your sk. They spend their inheritance already along with mom. ANything you have together should go to the kids you have together. If your dh has saved anythign on the side or any items of his, he can decide with that, to give tohis kids.

But, you can purchase a life insurance policy in your own name designating your children as beneficiaries.

Your DH can purchase two policies, one for you and your joint children and a second for his adult kids if he wants to leave something for them.

IMHO the estate other than insurance with a specific beneficiary goes to the surviving spouse. In the event of your joint demise then the Will should stipulate who gets what. It is my understanding that a Will does not determine who gets Insurance proceeds and that the T'S&C's of the policy provide benefit only to stipulated beneficiary.

In our case our Son (My SS) is an only child in our home. My in the event of the demise or either of us 100% of the estate goes to the surviving spouse. In the event of our joint demise it all goes in to trust for our Son (My SS) until he graduates with a Bachelors Degree from a fully accredited institution or age 40 whichever comes first. The Trust will pay his school and living expenses as long as he is a full time student with C's or better. No living expenses or any trust disbursements can be made prior to age 40 without a Bachelors degree as stipulated.

This is kind of our way of parenting beyond the grave. }:) More importantly it is our way of preventing the SpermClan from getting any money out of our estate if they were to gain custody of SS upon his Mom's and My joint demise.

The Trust is co-executed by my Dad and my younger Brother if they both are living and the survivor if one is not living.

So, I would suggest that you include the Skids in your Will and that you have your DH take out a separate Life Insurance policy with the Skids as co-beneficiaries. Any other policies and the majority of the estate should go to you and/or your joint children with DH with the exception of any specific dispensation of his personal belongings that he may want to go to his older children (jewelry, golf clubs, pictures, heirlooms, etc....)

Just my thoughts of course.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

you can't put community held property in a will/trust. Community property that is titled, right of survivorship transfers right to the surviving spouse. No bio/steps would have any claim whatsoever. All of our assets are titled this way, house, cars, accounts.
If my spouse passes away it transers to me the joint owner, and vice versa. He could make as many wills/trusts giving things away to his kids (he wouldn't), BUT it would be worthless. The only time you can will a asset to a child if married is if it was before the marriage, and the spouse isn't co-owner.

My DH also was bled dry but I have some property. I would like to leave DH anything of mine but do NOT, under any circumstances want it to be passed on or given to SD or ANY of his relatives.

I am thinking of a trust? for his lifetime that would revert to some chosen cause or group upon his death. Does that sound right?

I have given him a worksheet from an attorney but he refuses to say what he will do and I am afraid I will have to create my own will without him. We do have a life insurance policy that pays to the survivor for each other.

Any help or input would be great as I have a goal to resolve this this year! thanks, Susan

P.S. NO WAY am I including skids in my will after the way she has acted, and all property we have is owned by and titled to me.
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2

We are in the same boat. My DH kids will hit the jackpot when dad drops off, however, my own kids will just be comfortable. we have decided to leave our individual estates in the care of a family trust - he has one for his kids and I have one for mine. No one's business who get what. Not only are we trying to protect the kids from each other, but also protect all the kids from the greedy spouse they haven't met and married yet. Lets face it - with divorce rates so high these days, I don't want an unknown husband or wife making any gain whatsoever from what I have willed to my children. A solicitor is a must - but I'd say it's well worth it.