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BM Making Some Changes. Is her BF behind this?

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Sat, 08/03/2013 - 1:39pm

As some of you may know, BM just moved in with her BF and his kids a week ago. I have been waiting for this event for a long time:
1- It will hopefully ease her financial issues which should have a good impact on ours.

2- If FDH starts making 5K more a year, his alimony can go up an additional $850 a month and her living with the BF will not help her case if she goes after him

3- Most importantly, she is a very lazy parent when it comes to YSD and refuses to listen to therapists or anyone else about taking the computer away/limiting its use. When she found out YSD was kicked out of camp, she blamed it on her anxiety and FDH even told her he thinks they need to start dealing with this differently because it's getting out of hand. So I am really hoping that now her BF is in the picture (he really didn't spend a ton of time around the kids before they moved in) that he will see these issues with her and influence BM to make some major changes. I can't imagine living with her full time without stepping in and saying something.

So, FDH dropped off YSD to BM yesterday morning. He went to hand her SD's laptop bag and BM said "No, you keep it at your house. There were no electronics allowed at camp and she should be there now so she will have no electronics". He said SD's jaw hit the floor. He told BM he was leaving town until Tuesday night and won't see SD until next Thursday. BM said "That's fine. She doesn't need her computer until then". SD chimed in and said "But I want to say hi to my friends online" BM said "You can make new friends in real life. We can go swimming, play tennis, all sorts of things and maybe you can meet people there".

I was FLOORED when FDH told me this. This is the first I've EVER heard of her really doing something about this situation. And she's not messing around.

So my guess is that her BF has something to do with this. I think she probably went whining back to him that FDH isn't understanding that SD was kicked out of camp because the poor widddle baby is anxious. And I bet her BF finally said something. And with school starting back in 2 weeks, it's really going to be a problem for him as he works from home and will not want this kid sitting at home all day with her face in a computer and not participating in life.

What do you think? Is this the boyfriend effect kicking in? Or did BM get a brain transplant?

PS. Be on the lookout in the coming months for a new ST user who is a man whose story sounds eerily similar to mine!:-)

Comments

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Sat, 08/03/2013 - 4:04pm

Well, the computer isn't going anywhere. I am home alone till Tuesday and will not be handing it over. She can get it when she comes back Thursday.

BUT- I know exactly what you mean. These efforts never seem to stick. I suppose we can only wait and see.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Sat, 08/03/2013 - 4:52pm

He told BM there was no having it back until then. She might even think I am on the trip with him. I am more concerned about longer term follow-through/parenting.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Sat, 08/03/2013 - 4:54pm

I really hope this helps her. She's not going to like being parented for the first time. She already doesn't like that FDH is stepping up (since I came around) and now it will be on both ends I hope. But man this kid needs help and I hope he's a positive influence.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Sat, 08/03/2013 - 5:31pm

OK now that bm is starting to parent and taking electronics your dh dies too. I think they should be taken for a month fir getting kicked out. Then she can have it for an hour a day. When school starts she can only gave it fir that hour when home work is done. If she starts to get better the time can increase but still limited. She needs to earn them back period.