Step Dad Cop Out
My husband is the SF to my two boys, I am the SM to his two girls. His daughters' respect and obey fine because I've been around them since 4 & 6 yrs old. My boys are 16 & 14 and they met SF around 11 & 13, they have been very disobedient and disrespectful to both of us. I want him to step up to the plate and discipline them and turn them around. He says its my job since they are my sons. This bothers me and it sort of causes me to disrespect him a little. I think its a cop out. Their father is in and out of their lives. Any suggestions?
Boss Baby
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Well, he's right. He doesn't
Well, he's right. He doesn't have the same type bond as a bio parent since he came into their lives so late. You guys should back each other up and be united, but you should be the primary disciplinarian. Otherwise they may end up hating him. If they are way out of control, then they may need a strong male role model to help turn him around and maybe he can help with that through positive reinforcement and male bonding activities.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
I agree that it is a cop out at some level.
Melis has it right when it comes to having each other's backs on the discipline thing.
However, I believe that the only way for a blended family to work to its highest potential and to meet the needs of all members is if the spouses are equity parents to whatever kids are a part of the family (Yours, Mine, Ours).
You are equity life partners, you have to be equity parents. How can either of you be equity partners if you are not equity parents. You cannot be an equity parent if he expects you do be the SMom to his kids (care, feeding, etc...) when he does not want to step up and parent your kids as the Father figure and male example in your family home?
That does not work for me and can't work in the long term.
IMHO of course.
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)