I am not a morning person.

It is bad enough when my alarm goes off at 5am. Being awakened at 3:30am by a deputy calling stating “you need to come pick up your daughter” does not make for a promising start to the day.

Long story made short. Daughter’s good-for-nothing-worthless-waste-of-flesh-and-air boyfriend got drunk last night. As in belligerent, obnoxious, wanting to fight someone wasted. Daughter and boyfriends brother were attempting to wrangle him into a car to get his pickled posterior home when he shoved my daughter and said something to her that was “Horrible, vile and filthy”. Whatever he said must be bad, because she flat will not repeat it to me.

My DD’s response was apparently a right hook to his jaw followed by a foot planted in his nuts. When I spoke with the Deputy dealing with the darling couple he advised me when he pulled onto the scene the boyfriend was on his knees in the middle of the street, my daughter had him in a head lock and was apparently reciting for him (at max volume) exactly the who, what, where, when and why of how he had f*cked up.

My DD is 22. However she looks like a young teenager, thus the cops thought her ID was a fake and demanded a parent pick her up. I show up, with her birth certificate (so they would realize the ID is legit and not confiscate it, resulting in hours spent at the DMV to have it replaced) and they did apologize for not believing her and waking me up. End result, I take my kid home, boyfriend is in the drunk tank and his car got towed.

I did ream my DD out. She knows better than to get physical. She had the money to call a cab, knew she could have called me for a ride and let drunky get pulled over for a dui since he was being an a$$. She got darn lucky the cops didn’t cite her for battery.

Then I got to go to work.
There is just not enough coffee in the world today.