What a freaking week!

First I get a friend request on FB from my ex husband's new gf and am like "WHAT??" - totally confused by this and what her motivation behind requesting me is.. my ex and I really do not like each other, so this request from her is wacky!

So I reach out to my ex's ex wife after me and ask her if she had any idea why this chick was requesting me and had she requested her as well..

**side note** I've been divorced from ex for 5 years, he married wife #3 shortly after the divorce, then they divorced a couple years later.

Her and I were cool when they were married - she would text me every now and again to ask things about styling my daughters hair or how do you make her favorite meal, etc. She was very good to my daughter and super nice! After they got divorced I sent her a text saying thank you for being such a good step mom and know that my daughter will miss you, etc. **

About a month ago she (ex wife #3) calls me out of the blue to ask about my ex and if he ever forged my signature on paperwork when we were married or after the divorce. She goes on to inform me that she found out he forged her signature on some documents regarding the refinance of the house when they were getting their divorce. I let her vent and that was that. I did keep it in the back of my mind because I was thinking "oh great, if he gets in legal trouble or something what drama will that cause"...

Then, 2 weeks ago she texts me to ask if he is dating some chick from the area she lives in.. I tell her "yea, he's serious with some chick, but I have no clue where she lives." The only reason I knew he was dating is because all of a sudden my daughter was telling me all about this new chick and her son and how they are now at the house ALL the time - which concerned me because they apparently hadn't been dating all that long and he met her online.. ugh. (And his divorce was only a little over a year old, my daughter still misses her step mom and step brother.. and I'm worried how this all affects her)..

*sigh*

Now the reason for the friend request from the new GF - wifey number 3 sent the new GF a letter spilling the beans on everything she endured with the ex. Not in a vindictive way, but rather matter of fact and emotionless way - just outlining everything from all the money he stole from her, still owes her, how he treated her son like crap, etc.

GF got this letter right after her and the ex got into a HUGE fight.. talk about timing...

New gf called wifey #3 and they talked and compared notes.. my name came up and wifey #3 informs new GF that I am a great person and am down to earth and not the vindictive wench ex hubby makes me out to be and that her and I got along great.. apparently ex hubby bashed me quite a bit to the new gf..

Wifey #3 (who's sanity I am now beginning to question) says that the new GF had concerns and wanted to ask me a few things..

I'm like good grief.. why me?

I call my husband and then my best friend to tell them about the new developments (they already knew everything up to what just happened with the friend request and finding out about the letter).. and see what they think I should do. We talk and all agree that since she is in my daughters life so much I should see what she wants because what if there is something going on that I don't know about. Plus, my daughter is already growing fond of this chick and her son.. so if she is looney or thinking of breaking up with the ex, I should know. I agree with some of this because she took the breakup with wifey #3 so hard and now here we are on the threshold of another one that will probably hurt her as well.. I'm pissed and concerned and have serious reservations about all the drama that could ensue..

So, I take a deep breath..

I respond to new GF's request with something like "I can not be your friend due to your relationship with my ex, please do not take it personal. However if there is something you feel the need to discuss with me, you may call me." and give her my phone number..

So she calls me and the first thing I tell her is I will not engage in gossip and the only reason I am talking to her is because I need to know if there is anything going on that will affect my daughter - my only concern is her, not their relationship - unless it affects her life.

She then tells me her and the ex are over since they had a huge fight 4 days ago and here is why.. So I ask her "why are you wanting to talk to me then?"... she says because she wants to know the truth about a couple things and to ask about some traits she noticed... That "he wants to talk to her and make up" and he is claiming he's some great guy that just had a bad day..

Ugh, she fills me in on "his version" of why he and I divorced - I'm used to it. It's the same lies he told everyone. I correct her and tell her we reached an impasse on something critical and grew apart. No ones fault.

She then proceeds to tell me all about her issues with him and asks me if I had similar problems. "yes, but I'm not going into details," I reply. I then say "look, if you see and feel all these things and you now know this is a pattern with him, then you should feel confident with your decision. You deserve to be happy and be grateful this happened sooner rather than later so the kids aren't hurt as I know my daughter is fond of you and your son - and that his last breakup really hurt her."

She bashes him and is so grateful for the letter from wifey #3 and thanks me for taking a chance and talking to her. She knows she is doing the right thing.

I also tell her I would appreciate her discretion and not bring up that she talked to me as I have to deal with my ex for the rest of my life. She understood and would respect that since he is very hateful and vindictive when it comes to me. *oh great*

Sooooo... later that night, I go to drop my daughter off at the ex's (it's his week with her and he needed me to watch her for a couple hours that evening).. My daughter goes inside and all of a sudden as I'm backing out of the driveway he comes tearing out of the house waving me down and yelling..

He comes up to my car - I should have just drove off - and begins screaming at me "you wanna f*ck with my life? You wanna f*ck up my relationships? You meddled in my life and my relationship and now you will pay!!" Along with a long tirade of BS.

I'm pissed, but somehow stay calm. I reply that I didn't meddle, nor did I "f*ck with his anything".. and inform him that I initiated nothing, only responded to questions and did it because my only concern was our daughter. I have every right to be accessible to anyone who watches her and is a significant part of her life.

He of course disagrees and tries to keep arguing and I drive off.. he tries to initiate a text war.. I stick with the facts and stop responding after that. Tell him to only text me regarding our daughter.

Now here's the part where I am stuck.. I'm pissed at this gf, but could deal with it.. since she was allegedly moving on with her life and I won't have to deal with her.

HOWEVER... the ex is a charmer. And when I spoke to my daughter last night and asked her about her weekend coming up she tells me she thinks "----- and her son are spending the night Friday".... I almost dropped the phone!

Now I'm beyond pissed.. and do not want this back stabbing idiot near my daughter - and yes, she is an idiot if she continues with their relationship. Anyone with half a brain would run and never look back..

I feel like confronting her and calling her out on all the things she told me about him.. but again, I don't want drama - I also feel wronged and don't want to be a doormat.

Advice? Questions? HELP!!