So, I can understand BM's getting pissed at their ex. I can understand jealousy of ex's new gf.

What I can't understand is using children as a playing piece in her game of chess. I give Moms HUGE props for not being able to do this and SM's HUGE props for not taking the bait- I for one haven't been THAT strong and have taken the bait a time or two.

What I'm talking about: BM tells child- [insert bad thing here about smom] child tells smom- mom said [insert bad thing here about smom] smom is supposed to bite the bullet.

BUT oh god... but but but... if it was flipped and after doing that to smom over and over and over again smom finally cracks- I'll give you an example that actually happened and has been my only crack in my hard glazed over pristine armor

BM tells SD- SM shouldn't teach you anything because she's a bword and isn't really your mom or friend. I'm your only teacher.
SD tells SM- We can't do my workbook because mom said you were a bword and you aren't my mom and can't be my friend. Mom's my teacher, not you.
FDH to SD- Hunny, you have a teacher at school, it's fine, SM is just helping you with your homework
SD tells FDH- no Daddy, mommy is my teacher, SM is a bword.
*me as SM looses it at this point lol- I kid you not I've never lost control, I should have just walked out onto the porch like I normally do but I didn't and my FDH saw it happen- He's laughed at me since*
Me(SM) to SD- No, you're mom is not a teacher, your teacher is your teacher. If your mom wasn't a teacher she wouldn't be a very good teacher. *walks out onto porch to cool down* :jawdrop:

/facepalm

and of all the things that she ACTUALLY listens to- she listens to that... and then repeats it. -_-' so my poor FDH gets screamed at for an hour. (I apologized personally to BM without ever saying anything about her badmouthing me so I should get some points for that.... right??)

My point is- she can bad mouth me and FDH all she wants and never get a slap on the wrist for it- but god forbid we say anything about her.

Anyone else see this as a double standard???? not to mention horrible to be a standard in the first place?!?!?!?!?!

IMO a parent should never say anything bad to a child about another parent. End of story. What I said was the worst form I've ever had in my life. It was a huge lesson learned. I'm extremely sorry for it and see what I did wrong and still to this day am amazed that I didn't catch myself. I'm not going to make excuses for what I said- I know it should never have come out of my mouth- we don't even talk about court when SD is around.

But- as a point of this post- Double standard much??? any other Smoms have issues with BM badmouthing?