He's divorcing me.....why do I still want him back

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It has been 6 months into the separation/divorce pending and why can't I get over him. I stopped sending him emails begging him to reconcile. All I wanted was for him to stop supporting his 30 yr old daughter. At the time of separ

I saved before finishing

I saved before finishing content. At the time of separation all I did was confront him with a $700 Visa bill she ran up. He said "I thought we weren't going to get into each other's finances". I said "this is just wrong when she's living rent/utility free at my father's chalet". I left. I knew that he would always be supporting this child adult. DH went on match.com probably the same day (he says it's only for friendship). Why do I want him back? I feel like the failure. By the way, I'm on disability for bipolar and he knew this before marriage.

My mother passed away last

My mother passed away last November. Dad, age 85, had been living with us since hip surgery in May. Dad wanted to help out (felt he owed us) SD since she couldn't find a job with her masters in Philosophy. She has been working on her phd for 3 years while looking for a job. I feel very alone since I have no children, very distant relationship with 2 brothers, and now I am living in the country with few friends around. I was only married 2 1/2 years but it's my second marriage and I really wanted this to be the last marriage. I feel like I've lost my life plus still grieving for my mom.

I'm so sorry for the loss of

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.

You're out of your comfort

You're out of your comfort zone right now, but it will get better.

First step is already taken, you stopped contacting him.

Second step is counseling, to have someone unbiased to speak to and to help break any self-destructive patterns you may have.

Third, forgive yourself for hooking up with a jerk who was using you.

It will take some time but each day gets better and easier. Eliminate anything in your life that has to do with him.

You are right about being out

You are right about being out of my comfort zone. I feel lost

I'm so very sorry you're

I'm so very sorry you're going through this. I wish I had comforting words. All I can say is you need to move on with your life and realize it wasn't meant to be. You'll eventually find someone new and look back and think "why was I so upset over him?"

Good luck and work on getting yourself better and in a great place

You're not a failure, don't

You're not a failure, don't ever let anyone or yourself make you think that. You have made the first step, now you'll make the next and each day will get better. Please focus on yourself and take care of you. (((Hugs)))

Sorry you are going through

Sorry you are going through this. It just takes time. I agree with Growup, it sounds like you were being used. He wanted a little 'company' on match.com? If you would have stayed in that situation longer it would have been harder to get out of it, and it would not have gotten any better. He was a jerk.

When I divorced my first husband it took a while to get over it but now I thank my lucky stars! What really helped was getting involved in other things I liked to do, and creating a good circle of friends.

It's like he doesn't even

It's like he doesn't even miss me. Right now he's just pissed off that the divorce is taking so long and costing him so much money. He actually wanted me to do an Internet divorce,

Oh I did that the first day I

Oh I did that the first day I moved out. I wasn't going to stay in a hotel.

I am very sorry for the loss

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. You have a lot of mourning to do in regard to that loss. I would imagine that this loss compounds those emotions.

We do not need another human being to make us whole, or happy. If he wants out, good riddance. Let him go and work on yourself. The bi-polar situation could be making your situation feel worse than it is. You will be absolutely fine, and more than likely much better off. Try to do something everyday for yourself. You will get there.

Steprabbit - I have to go to

Steprabbit - I have to go to work now, but I have a lot to say so will try when I get back or tomorrow.
Meanwhile, do you think your DH is a narcissist? If you've never considered this before, please do some research on it.
Relationships with these people are notoriously hard to recover from.
(((hugs)))

Thank you everyone. I know

Thank you everyone. I know that it is harder with the bipolar issue too. I just wish I could stop crying so much.

Thank you everyone. I know

Thank you everyone. I know that it is harder with the bipolar issue too. I just wish I could stop crying so much.

Thank you everyone. I know

Thank you everyone. I know that it is harder with the bipolar issue too. I just wish I could stop crying so much.

I found the book Dumped by

I found the book Dumped by Sally Warren very helpful. Heard her interviewed on the radio in the car one night right after she wrote the book in 1998. Took it as a sign and drove right to the bookstore. There is another book by same title different author. That is not the one. Good luck. Just take one day at a time.

Yes, it is harder living in

Yes, it is harder living in the country. If we sell the house, my dad would go back to Florida and live above the car repair business. It is too small for two people and I don't know if we could even sell this home since it is a resort home and they are harder to sell. And I don't know if he would help me get a place if we sold this place. Than you for the insights. I do stay as active as possible. Dad is being driven up from Florida tomorrow by my brother. Dad still drives but it is a 600 mile trip. I am sure it will be better when I have someone around.

StepRabbit Im sorry for the

StepRabbit

Im sorry for the loss of your mother. Been there done that. Don't ever just settle. Your husband sounds like an idiot. He like most men feel the need to support there little IDIOTS because they didn't raise them to be ADULTS. Don't bug your husband go on with life like you don't need him. Be happy if he calls don't return them. If he sees you out in public act like you are having the time of your life. If he is on match.com tell him to go for it. There are better men out there why settle for some idiot who produces IDIOTS