Stepparent boundaries
Soooo.... this week has gone okay. I got over my weird feelings (what if my grandma is silently judging me blah blah blah)
Today I texted BM to ask her if she wanted to skype with SS early tonight, as we would not be home later this evening. My grandma, who was awake and helping me hem a couch cover at the time got to experience a little of my frustration, as BM asked if SS had asked to skype, because of course as a 5-year-old he is completely capable of deciding when he should or shouldn't communicate with his parent.
Anyway, I managed to not become offensive, just saying that if she wanted to wait around till he asked we could shoot for tomorrow night, but that I'd feel better if she talked to him at least one more time before the weekend.
She said tonight was cool.
They talked for a good half hour, I managed to time it well and made sure he was fed and rested before our attempt. About halfway through their conversation BM texts me to tell me that apparently SS told her that he wasn't wiping after he goes to the bathroom, or that when he does he isn't doing a good job.
Awesome.
I'd just assumed he was, since there was always tp in the toilet post-poop, but there you have it straight from the horses' mouth. BM told me that sometimes she helps him wipe with wet-wipes to make sure he's clean. I told her that we'd keep an eye on it, and that I appreciated her telling me. Because I do. Dirty bums are gross.
I refrained from telling her, but said plainly to DH later that I would do my best to make sure he wiped well from now on but that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES am I going to wipe SS's ass. NOT HAPPENING.
That may make me a bad stepparent, but there you have it. I am not, at this time, a custodial SP, and SS can wipe his OWN ass.
Nuff said.
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agreed.
agreed.