NYS Custody/ CS Question
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BM is pregnant with baby #2, with father #2. Currently BM and SO have no custody order or child support, they split custody and expenses 50/50 quite amicably. BM just quit her job and is living with her parents, but will be kicked out when baby #2 arrives. She will be going on welfare when this happens, which means that their verbal agreement holds no weight and the state will take SO for child support. He's maxed out financially, can't afford CS at all, which is part of the reason why they have the agreement they do. He says if this happens he'll file for custody- so my question is- does anybody know how this will affect the CS the state will try to collect for her being on welfare? Will he have to pay even if he has primary custody?
Usually if he gets primary
Usually if he gets primary custody before she gets on welfare while having custody of the child, he wouldn't have to pay anything. If after though, he may have to reimburse the state for what was used for the child during the time it was covered under the welfare benefits.
Any idea how long this
Any idea how long this process takes or what it will cost him?
If SO has primary custody, does that mean BM gets no benefits for their son?
I am not sure on the cost. I
I am not sure on the cost. I can tell you that using a lawyer to get a CO established costed DH 15k. But we were cross state--DH and I are in NY, BM and the kid is in IL so that may be why it was so expensive. It took a year and a half since BM tried everything to drag it out and DH didn't know how to use his lawyer properly.
If SO has primary custody, then yes, unless she falsified documents saying the child resides with her, she will NOT receive any welfare benefits. Which is why your SO, upon getting full custody, should send a copy in reference for BM's welfare benefits case as a just in case. You don't want to be hit with a nasty surprise years later. The state won't care who pays, just that someone does and it may very well be your SO.
Thanks. I can see this not
Thanks. I can see this not ending well... SO has no $ for a lawyer and his family can't help with that either. Although BM's parents are going to kick her out I'm pretty sure they'd foot the bill for a lawyer for her.
I'm in Brooklyn. He has to
I'm in Brooklyn.
He has to have a reason other than he can't afford CS to get custody.
Well there is more to it than
Well there is more to it than that... BM will likely live with father #2 who is abusive, he doesn't want his son there (that's the short version). Does NYS favor the mother automatically?
Yes. And diagnosed mental
Yes. And diagnosed mental illness, restraining orders against the mother granted to the father, etc etc mean Nothing to them. Unless this woman starts putting out cigarettes on the kid, they aren't going to want to change placement. Even then, they'll probably only want to do a temporary change and "give BM a chance".
The other thing to know is that CS is NYS is automatically to 21 y/o.
Almost every state favors the
Almost every state favors the parent who has been with the child since the separation, and it's almost always assumed the mother if they were never married,
Why not play it from the angle of, while you get settled down, we'll take care of junior for a bit until you get on your feet. Still no CS between you guys and it'll take a load off your hands while you get settled into the new life. You can also see him whenever you want. If she moves in with father #2 who doesn't want the kid there while not having the kid, father #2 likely won't let the kid back in once he got rid of him.
Sounds cruel but if he wants custody and can do it, this might be the best way. Then if she wants him back, go establish full custody in the courts documenting how long he's been with you. If he changed schools, etc.
He's not quite 2 years old
He's not quite 2 years old yet- no school. They have split custody 50/50 almost exactly... if anything SO has him an extra hour or 2 per week- it's that close. They were never married.
"Still no CS between you guys and it'll take a load off your hands while you get settled into the new life."
This isn't an option. As soon as she files for welfare the state will go after him.
If they end up with 50/50
If they end up with 50/50 custody through the courts, will he still have to pay CS for her being on welfare?
In all likelihood, yes. NY
In all likelihood, yes. NY Very much always want to assign a CP and an NCP, even when it's joint 50/50 (which honestly they don't like to do either - they'll do more like 51/49) and it's all because of the money they'll get from the feds.
If he gets tagged as a NCP, he Will have to pay child support and it is likely to be quite a bit. I don't believe that time spent with the child or overnights is something that's put into the CS worksheet.
You didn't read the whole
You didn't read the whole thing... and I have no desire to explain the entire situation. Believe what you will, but you don't know the whole story. This is absolutely not just about paying child support. SO loves his son and would love to have him 100% of the time but knows that it's good for his son to see his mother. He's been telling me for a while that he will do everything he can to keep his son away from father #2.
If it were up to him, things would continue as they are. He's fine with 50/50 time sharing when it doesn't involve his son being around father #2. As things stand there's no reason for either of them to pay child support, they both support the child equally. Tell me in what world it's fair that he should have to pay $ to the state even though he's providing 50% of the support for his child? Regardless, it's more about not wanting father #2 around his son.
I'd read before you jump to
I'd read before you jump to conclusions--like how the father of Bm's second child is abusive and will be LIVING with the skid.
Sheesh. At least her and her SO don't have to go on welfare or get kicked out of their parents house which means they can probably offer a more stable environment for the kid.
-.-
I hope people are willing to admit when they've wronged someone because they didn't get all the facts...
I see that CS is supposed to
I see that CS is supposed to be 17% for 1 child, but I don't know if that changes when welfare is involved. I don't see anything where they factor in time spent with each parent.
Sent you a PM
Sent you a PM
It's 17% for one child and
It's 17% for one child and child care if the CP works and/or attends school full time.
She quit her job and likely
She quit her job and likely won't end up with one until after baby#2 arrives...
There can be the additional
There can be the additional cost of having to provide insurance as well as x% of the medical bills. If she's not working, he can get tagged for 100% of the medical bills. Yes that's on top of the 17%
DF was ordered to pay 85% of
DF was ordered to pay 85% of medical, 100% for child care in addition to CS.
If the boyfriend is abusing mom, dad still may not get full custody. If ACS gets involved, they will tell mom to get the boyfriend of the home or they will pull kids. If the SS is pulled, they may place him with his dad or her parents (family placement) TEMPORARYILY, until mom gets rid of the boyfriend. Once she does that, the kid will go back to her home.
If the child is being abused, ACS may pull him and recommend dad gets full custody.
He's broke. Can't afford
He's broke. Can't afford insurance for himself, let alone his son- I'm pretty sure son is on state insurance now. He already lives with his parents because he can't afford rent until his vehicle is paid off (he couldn't afford it when he bought it either, but BM helped him pick it out). He's maxed out financially because he works a crappy 2nd shift job so that grandma can babysit instead of paying for child care. The only way he can change it is to increase his income, and he needs schooling/training for that. He's trying to figure it all out...
Did he graduate from high or
Did he graduate from high or get a GED?
If you're in NYC or close enough to commute, tell him to take all of the exams for city and transit jobs that he can.
Here's the link for transit.
http://www.mta.info/nyct/hr/appexam.htm
And the link for city jobs
http://www.nyc.gov/html/dcas/html/work/exam_monthly.shtml#open
Transit track workers start out earning $20 an hour. After 4 years, they earn $29 an hour. If you can pass their exam and drug test, you can make tons of money with them. I have several friends that are track workers. The amount of overtime they earn is just sick. The benefits are great as well.
We're as far away from NYC as
We're as far away from NYC as you can get and still be in NYS. The issue with schooling is that he can't afford a sitter and needs his mom to babysit, she can only babysit in the afternoons. He did graduate high school.
Social services will pay for
Social services will pay for child care for low income working parents.
I have a friend receiving
I have a friend receiving social services, so I'm a little familiar with that. Unfortunately the places they will pay for aren't the kind of place you'd want your child to be, and they usually run out of funding by fall, so it's not dependable at all
If he cannot afford child
If he cannot afford child support, how can he afford to have custody? Kids cost mucho $$$.
He couldn't afford to provide
He couldn't afford to provide for his son while he has him and pay CS on top of that. He can afford clothes, diapers, food, etc. as it stands, but not if he has to hand over part of his check to the state. 2 year olds aren't terribly expensive. BM makes nothing now, but made less than him before she quit. He was more able to support the kid.