i dont think that bm will get my fh any thing...her fat azz does not have a job to afford one, and i dont think she can go to her bf and ask for money to buy one, lol (plus any extra money im sure goes to the purchase of cigarettes)

but if she did, who cares, one less thing you need to get. They way i look at it is if i had a kid with an x, and he got a gift for me, i would appreciate it.

Last year i had ss make a card for him with me, and i got him a card...i most likely will do the same this year, on mothers day all he did was wish me a happy mothers day, so until we have kids, im not going out of my way any more, usually ss makes something at day care anyways.

anxious, but not because of BM... but because of my last blog... :/

~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's

Take SS shopping for a fathers day gift and have FH return the one from BM?

i just remembered, the fathers day before we met bm got him a gift cert for a 1hr massage...i used it for my birthday!!! thanks bm!
hahaha, i made sure she found out about it too!

for DH. For mothers day he got me a kit that hooks up to my computer, transfers to our huge plasma tv so now when I'm online I have a 52" monitor hanging on the wall. I really think he got it so he could order his PPV UFC fights though. We don't have cable........so that would be a good way to order them.

Maybe I'll buy him a new vaccume cleaner. LOL

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

My DH is usually so impatient that he get's himself what he wants when he wants it so there is usually nothing he wants when the holiday's come around. Ditto this year. So I was thinking I would pack him, the SS's and DD2 into the car and go somewhere for a picnic. It will get us out of the house and is not an everyday thing so I think it will be fun.

BTW: What is up with the ex buying your SO presents? I know it is supposed to be from the kid but weird. I mean, if the kid made something in school for him and she sends that along...fine but to actually go out shopping for him...That is not okay.

Seeing as FH didn't bother to help out DD14 with Mother's Day. I was hoping it might be some kind of bonding time for them, as in, "Hey kid! It's Mother's Day this weekend.. let's go get her something nice!" Nope. Nothing.

And since he's taking a day off work on Monday to go see his kids (and probably take them out for dinner to which they'll show up empty-handed), and since he's starting to be a jerk again towards DD14, as he always is as part of preparing himself to go visit them, I think maybe I'll just screw the whole thing. If DD14 wants to acknowledge him, she's welcome to. I doubt he'd appreciate it though, since he'll be thinking about his visit with his own precious darlings the next day. He'll be doing everything he can to maintain annoyance with her so that his daughters will continue to want to be with him.

In fact, maybe I'll do something fun with my daughter for Father's Day, seeing as I've played both roles for her entire life with very little input from FH over the last few years.

I know bm is out to break us up and/or take fh's kids...our counselor read her last explosive email and confirmed that(along with her being pathological).
I would allow your ss to give the items to your fh with the understanding that he oooh's and aaah's over them...and then they disappear. He can put em in a box for when he's older, or whatever...but I'd definitely want them away somewhere. That's the hard part of skids...they need the ex to supply money or take them to the store or whatever, unfortunately. It's good that you reframe it so that you think of it as coming from the skid, not the ex.
One not-so-nice thing you can do is on bm's b'day or mothers day, go out with your skid and help them pick something that either smells terrible or is hideously ugly.lol
Part of why you're upset, or so my counselor tells me cuz I'm in the same mindset, is that you're insecure. You are beatiful, fabulous, and your fh loves YOU not the bm. Be confident in yourself.
And don't let the drama eat you up (easier said than done). There's no reason to be upset because it doesn't CHANGE anything. If being upset did, we'd all live in mansions with maids and no bm's.lol
Hugs, LT

I have no problem with BM sending a Father's gift to DH. Hell he is the father of her daughter and should receive one. No matter what the relationship is between them now.

Hell, i know for a fact that BM is trying to break us up - she has filed false abuse allegations against me and took sd to a counselor for it as well. We go to court next month on the 14th. So yeah, i guess she wants him back.

I guess my opinion is this, hell i should not have married him if I expected to control every aspect of his interaction between the BM and myself. Then i am no better than the BM as she wants to control every aspect of his life.

God forbid if he wanted to be with her - he would - i have no control over that. Besides SD should be given the opportunity to hand her father a card or gift as well as the one we have purchased for him.

In my little opinion.

I have no problem with BM sending a Father's gift to DH. Hell he is the father of her daughter and should receive one. No matter what the relationship is between them now.

Hell, i know for a fact that BM is trying to break us up - she has filed false abuse allegations against me and took sd to a counselor for it as well. We go to court next month on the 14th. So yeah, i guess she wants him back.

I guess my opinion is this, hell i should not have married him if I expected to control every aspect of his interaction between the BM and myself. Then i am no better than the BM as she wants to control every aspect of his life.

God forbid if he wanted to be with her - he would - i have no control over that. Besides SD should be given the opportunity to hand her father a card or gift as well as the one we have purchased for him.

In my little opinion.

The first year that H and I were together BM wanted to buy an expensive watch for him from SD for Father's Day. I thought that was way too weird!! She was trying to get him back and wanted him to be wearing a present from HER everyday and something that I would be able to see everyday. I told H how I felt about it and he told BM not to get him anything in the future for any holiday that jen76 would be taking care of that now. I'm sure she was pissed. I am his partner/wife and SD and I can go and pick a present out that WE like for his birthdays, Christmas and Father's Day. I don't care if SD gets him a card, but she rarely even does that anymore b/c BM is probably still pissed she never got anything from H on mother's day/birthdays and Christmas in the past years. That is what her family is for. They can take SD to get her those things.

Anxious doesn't even begin to describe our situation!!

SD13 will be seeing us for the first time since she moved back in with BM (see my blogs). We are both dreading this visit and we're still hoping the Uber-Skank will call and say.....DH...ummmmm...SD13 is feeling sick and so we're going to cancel this weekend.

DH said he loves SD13, but after everything she's done, said and written about the both of us he no longer trusts her. We even changed the locks on the house because we are concerned SD13 and BM will show up when we're not home and clean us out. He said he really hopes she cancels today because his stomach is in knots over her visit.

I got DH a card and wrote him a note about what a great dad he is and that he should never regret the choices he's made for SD's benefit. He did his best and for the right reasons. He should never feel he gave her less than 100% of himself as a Dad.

To all of you Step-Dads......Happy Father's Day!!

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine