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when is it time to walk away?

Stessedinontario's picture

Submitted by Stessedinontario on Thu, 04/25/2013 - 7:51pm

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General Discussion

I have 3bk and 2sk. Both sk wanted to live with us, so we went and purchased a much larger home (and mortgage) to accomodate. Well, once rules/chores/equality were introduced, SD bailed back to Mom and to add insult to injury claimed mental and physical abuse as the reason. So my SS and 3BC were subjected to a children's aid interviews. The claims of abuse were unfounded. Fast forward 18 months and SS is failing science and we told him that he would need to take summer school so he could graduate high school on time. He went back to BM and told his friends in our small town that we routinely beat him. Now half of my small community think we are child abusers. I love those kids like my own, opened my home and heart to them, but once structure was too tight and we weren't willing to get them puppies and IPads, they slanderd us. My two older children are good with not contacting them, my youngest(12) is confused, my husband is ready to disown them, so why do I feel bad about not feeling like I can love these obviously troubled children? These kids are 16 and 17 btw

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Fri, 04/26/2013 - 12:13am

Believe it or not..... It seems most skids behave in this way. Do not take it personal, love yourself your husband your children, and make a happy home. Do not consume yourself with the drama of the skids what they say and who they say it to. DH and YOU know the truth... That's all that matters.

Keep your head up!!! The best revenge is living well, oh, and not responding to the drama and discord they are trying to create. Let them create and live with it themselves

Mrs. Why's picture

Submitted by Mrs. Why on Fri, 04/26/2013 - 6:01pm

Omgoodness I wonder this all the time.... Real world is calling, and it won't have pity on you for being a stepkid lol

krazykaty's picture

Submitted by krazykaty on Fri, 04/26/2013 - 1:59pm

My xH currently isn't having DS sleep at his place, because his SD has made allegations of abuse at their house. The kid usually lives with grandparents? Anyway, xH called to tell us that they were being investigated and his attorney advised to keep DS away. I obviously *gently* interrogated DS about what was going on at his dad's place. xH is very against spanking and DS confirmed that his soon-to-be SM is also against spanking. DS has no idea what the kid is talking about. The social worker who came to talk with DS also said he wasn't finding anything to back up the allegations.

I'll tell you the same thing I told him:

For your own safety, make sure that you are never alone with these skids!!
Make sure that you have another adult, someone who is over 18!! be a witness!
If you can, have visits in public places.
Never leave bio kids alone with skids.