Rant- Another SD is sliding down the bad behavior slope
It just keeps on....
Today, MSD, the "easy one" that I get along great with received 2 days ISS for a series of things she did at school, including calling the school secretary a bitch. Nice. She missed school Monday because she was too tired (we told her to go to bed but apparently she didn't go to sleep so BM kept her home the next day) BM sent FDH a long email saying "OMG, they are all out of control!!"
Really, BM?? Maybe, just maybe YOU could also do something to get your kids in line. They are having trouble in school, the youngest doesn't even GO to school and you throw up your hands and freak out when there is a problem.
I've been warning FDH that something like this would happen with her. Her little sister has been defiant for months and she gets what she wants. Why wouldn't MSD try the same thing? This is what happens when you cater to one problem kid and ignore the good kid. But of course, no one listened and went on ignoring warning signs and now we are where we are. I'm seriously worried about her. (Oh, we also caught her eating 10 candy bars in one day this weekend from the candy sale goods she had. This is a girl who is very concerned about her appearance normally).
Since limiting "screen time" for YSD was apparently so effective (very noticable change in her), I suggested to FDH that we do the same here for the older kids since they are now showing signs that they'd rather sit in their rooms on a computer than get an education, deal with life, hang with live friends, etc... I sent him a detailed recommendation on what times each has to put down screens (one hour before bed), what lights out time should be, etc... He loved it. he thanked me for a solid recommendation that was easy to follow.
I told him he should recommed to BM that she does the same in her house instead of moaning about their behavior-- take back some control and give them some structure. I can't wait to see how this goes over and is/is not enforced. It's hard to enforce computer and bed times when you spend all night on the phone with your friends then fall asleep two hours before the kids do.... Just sayin'.
But man, in never ends around here.
OK, rant over. Time to go pack some boxes that will not be ending up at BM's house ever. 
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Comments
See this is what I am worried
See this is what I am worried about. DD11 sees SD16 getting away with murder in our house!! She better not start acting like SD. SD stays up all hours of the night talking on the phone, on her laptop and texting. She gets to stay home from school whenever she wants and gets pizza money for doing it!
Good luck with those boxes. If it were me, after I was done using them I would write the word whore or something along those lines across all of them. Then BM can come and take them if she wants!!
Bad behavior rewarded = bad
Bad behavior rewarded = bad behavior modeled. It's scary. But you can at least raise your DD the way you want her to be (more than Skids for sure).
LOL. How about saying, "I even labeled them for you. These say Lazy BM's room."
This is what I am worried
This is what I am worried about too. Luckily the swearing hasn't started yet
Yep, me too. But I think
Yep, me too.
But I think (hope to God LOL) that my kids KNOW already that the behaviours they see modelled by the skids are NEVER going to be tolerated in them
DD10 comments to me about how they behave like she can't believe it, and is appalled by them, so I hope she never starts it. That said, the teen years are fast approaching and we all know what a rollercoaster that is.
I also find it hard - what do you say to the dd when she comments about the disparity?
The disparity is the WORST.
The disparity is the WORST. I don't know how others handle it, but I had a very frank discussion (actually, more than just one) with my kids about how I expect MY CHILDREN to behave, how I expect MY CHILDREN to treat others, etc. My kids are also old enough to understand me when I say, "I can't control how other children are raised. I'm not their parent, I'm yours. So what I say goes for YOU. I know you're thinking 'it's not fair' but you know what? Life isn't fair. Sometimes it just downright sucks. But it is what it is and you'll be a much better person for it in the long run."
My kids are 13 and 15, and although they still see the disparity, they also see a couple of kids (SK's) who are a few years older but lack social graces, empathy, respect for others, just to name a few things.