Skids full time or not?????????
And the drama continues.. kill me now.
Well, last night DH flat out asks sk14 where he planned on living once his mom moved away.. his response (and of course I am no where around when this conversation takes place - typical) "well, since she is moving away from where I live that is her choice to leave, not mine. I'll just see her every other weekend." Dh takes this as he's living with us.
So, armed with this info DH goes to sk12 and asks him the same question. Of course, this is the attitude filled problem child, so what does he get "I'm not picking." DH says, "Look, we need to know. We want you to stay and be a part of this family." Nope.. he gets nowhere with him.
This bothers me.
First of all, of the two kids - I did not in a million years expect mamas boy, sk14, to pick his dad over BM and I still think when it comes down to the wire he is gonna flip his decision and go with her.
Second of all, while I am not in favor of pushing them to pick, we really need to know. DH and BM have got to get their heads out of their asses and come up with something.. this is insane.
They won't go to court. They won't split up the boys. So.. uhmm.. what the hell do we do if SK12 says "I'm going to live at moms"...? DH seems to think he won't do that. I don't feel the same - SK12 hates me. seriously.
DH has sent emails to BM telling her the latest developments and asking her to give him her proposal with regards to visitation and support (oh to be a fly on the wall when she reads that - lol).. no reply from her.
Still in limbo or not? One kid, no kid, both kids.. no clue. This sucks.
50/50 shared parenting. BM
50/50 shared parenting. BM currently lives one street over from us.. now she is just "oh, me and hubby are moving over an hour away"... which makes the 50/50 impossible.
To make matters worse.. neither will go to court to fight for the kids because "they don't want the kids to go through that" (admirable, I suppose) - meanwhile we are all held hostage until the skids make a decision..
I agree. I would NEVER give up custody of my daughter.
Oh believe me.. I know. And
Oh believe me.. I know. And these two, good LORD help me. They have all the charming charastics all us stepmoms love: disrespect, arguementative, talk back/negotiate everything, slobs, loud, think the world revolves around them, entitled to everything, we are solely on this earth to serve and provide entertainement for them, selfish, no sense of compassion or consideration for others - I could write a damn book!
I came into this 3 1/2 years ago wanting to do this the right way.. with nothing but good intentions.. boy did reality slap me in the face.
Right off the bat we had them 75% of the time and I practically danced with joy when they went to BM's.. then it dropped to 50/50.. yaay for that! Now, BM is moving and it looks like we get them 100%.. just in time for the disgusting teen years.
I really do not think I can do this.. the more I think about what is around the corner and how effed up these kids are.. I don't know if I want to stick around and that's sad. They have the ability to make life hell and have demonstrated this more times than I care to mention.
I would not be held hostage
I would not be held hostage by a couple of teenagers. The adults need to figure this out and make the decision.
I'm with ya.. us living in
I'm with ya.. us living in the land of "reality" see this.. however BM and DH.. well, god forbid they make a decision and upset the kids.. and it's not like those 2 can have a civil conversation.. BM is a nutcase and you can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being..
Soooo.. I just twiddle my thumbs and wait for my sentence.. life in hell with the possibility of parole (aka - leave and never look back) or free as a bird..
I hate the feeling of just
I hate the feeling of just waiting for DH/BM/someone else to make a decision that will have such a huge impact on you and your daily life! I suppose that's the life of a SM, but boy does it suck!!
Indeed my dear it does.. and
Indeed my dear it does.. and it will impact my life tremendously. Every other week my life changes from peaceful and happy to chaos and drama.
And look, I know life with kids is not easy.. I have a daughter of my own who is 10 -but, she has respect and all those wonderful charastics that I brought her up with. Of course some day she will be a teenager and think I am the dumbest, lamest person on earth.. fair enough. She doesn't act like that at now.. these monsters have been well, monsters since I met them almost 4 years ago.
If they are going to be in my face 24/7 things will have to be a hell of a lot different around here. Sorry, but the whole "leave the discipline to DH" rule gets tossed out the window as well as a lot of other BS I have had to keep my mouth shut on.
Ugh I can't imagine. We have
Ugh I can't imagine. We have SD 50/50 now and like you, my life goes from happy and peaceful to chaos and drama every other week. I can't imagine if the drama and chaos never went home. God help you!!