Still bitter
My DH has improved so much in recent months but sometimes I find myself wondering WHY was he so insensitive to me for so long?
During the earlier part of our marriage he and SS would have conversations in the evening that I was not allowed to participate in. He would actually ask me to keep quiet and 'let the boy talk' if I asked a question or otherwise tried to be part of the convo.
So I retreated to my laptop. (Too bad I didn't know about this site then). He would then chastize me for ignoring SS! When SS was the one ignoring me! I would talk to him and he would NOT respond in any way. So I let him have his space, which DH decided was tantamount to me ignoring him.
DH often told me off in front of SS and ordered me to do stuff for him that he could very well do for himself. SS would order me to do stuff for him and actually threaten to report me to daddy?!?
Once I disengaged, DH improved a lot but sometimes I wonder WHERE WERE HIS BRAINS?
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Boy you have more patience
Boy you have more patience than me. If DH ever told me off in front of anyone I'd be furious. And "taking orders" - hell to the no.
That wasn't the worst. The
That wasn't the worst. The worst was when he would accuse me of lying when SS contradicted me.
Trust me, I've put a stop to ALL of that nonsense.
The last straw was when SS
The last straw was when SS told DH that he 'had to drink water from the toilet because SM wouldn't give him water." He knows where the water is and he can get it.
The next time he asked me for a glass of water I told him he can get it from the toilet! And I have NEVER fetched anything for him ever since. It feels gooooooood.
I don't think I could forgive
I don't think I could forgive this, even if my SO changed his ways. You are right to feel bitter, because this goes to your DH's core values and his character. His terrible treatment of you kind of defined him. At least that's how I would view the situation.
DH had a lot of time to dig himself a very big hole, and it's going to take a long time to get himself out of that hole. 4 months is not nearly enough time to do this. My opinion.
I hope things continue to get better for you.
I put up with a lot of this
I put up with a lot of this nonsense because I was haunted by the evil stepmom. I did not want to be the evil stepmother and the people I talked to (mostly my mum) told me to just love the kid and that everything would work out.
I thought my SS was lacking love which is why he was lashing out at me. Later on I realized it was just a struggle for power and control. That was when I completely stopped catering to his tantrums and stood up to DH.