Not looking forward to this weekend.
So two months ago SD14 decided that she just "had" to spend more time with her mom. She she moved over there. We haven't seen her since. So two weeks ago she tells DH that she wantst to spend every other weekend with us and it starts this weekend. I am dreading it and when I think about it I get horrible knots in my stomach so I try not to but it is still in the back of my mind.
I don't dislike her but she is the type of child that thinks the world should revolve around her and her only. Who cares that we have two other children too!
I have always been an "involved" SM and she has always been OK with this but three weeks ago she messaged me on myspace telling me that I am just her "stepmom" and that I have no right being involved in her life. Um...OK, I admit it stung to read those words but then it pissed me off. And finally I just replied with "OK...you want it, you got it!"
So if she asks me this weekend "can I get on the computer" or "can I call so-and-so", my response is going to be "I don't know, ask your dad, I'm not involved anymore." Is that being too petty?? I mean I feel like I should teach her a lesson and since she said that is how she wanted it then that it how it should be. My main point is; she has involved me herself so many times when it benefits HER but when it doesn't, she wants me to butt out I suppose. So if I am in agreeance with her its OK that I involve myself on her behalf but if I am not, then I guess I just have to MYOB. It just seems so hypocritial to me and SOOOOO like BM that I seriosly want to vomit!
So my question is...what would you all do?
- stepmom2kk's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
That is what I would do
I would simply say "Ask your Dad" to EVERYTHING! I do that now. FSS6 asked me why I always say "ask your Dad"? My answer was simply, "Because he's YOUR Dad". Simple as that. After awhile they will get the point that you are not going to do anything for them.
FSS6 asks if he can use the computer, it's my computer, I simply say "NO" and that's it.
haha ask your dad namaste
SAME thing I say when FH is home.."ask your dad"
seriously though..I go thru same thing with BD. I'm her BM so she can't tell me that I have no right to say anything, but she'll tell me things like "leave me alone..you never do anything for me...etc..etc"
so when she asks for something I simply remind her of the things she says "can you bring me to the mall?" nope..I don't do anything for you remember, you don't like me remember? leave you alone remembeR?
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
annnnddd
I never, ever watch them anymore. If BF has to work, I make sure I tell him I have plans to do this and that. He is not my H, he's my FH so I have absolutely NO reason to change my plans to stay with his children. He can call their mother.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an evil stepmother. These changes are very recent. I've done this shit for almost a year, got no appreciation and walked all over, now I'm done!
Thanks for the advice all!
My problem is - I feel like I will cave. Mainly because she is so nice and sweet to my face but such a total little bratty-b*tch over email and online. And I know she is being two-faced but the "mom" side of me takes over.
Of course she will not be happy anyway...DH is telling her that we are moving into a 3-bedroom house and that she will have to share a room with BD4! She's always had her own room at our house but hey SHE is the one choosing to stay at her moms all the time and I can't see having a bedroom sit empty all the time for a child that only comes to our house every other weekend.
I guess I would make a point
I guess I would make a point to make sure the world does not revolve around her in any way at all. Probably do whatever you would normally do on any given weekend and not make it "special" for her. She is old enough to entertain and take care of herself. I hate feeling like I have to cater to a child. Hell if she views you as a stepmom (I read as evil stepmom) treat her like you are one......what the hell - why not?