If you don't wanna read so much background info, go ahead and jump to the question at the end!

*DH and BM never married, had a child, split when the child was 20 months old, and pretty much had "joint custody" although they never went legal. DH and I married when SD5 was 4 years old. I also have an 18 month old, and DH has been the ONLY father figure my son has had, and will be adopting him one day.*

Right now BM lives 12 minutes or so away from us, is the same, city, and area, in Orlando, Florida.

BM can't keep a job (she would have one for a few weeks), right now she is unemployed, she has no family here in Florida, she lives in her Boyfriend's house and drives his car. She declared bankrupcy a few months ago, and went back to Virginia, her home state. She wanted to recover financially, but came back here to live with her boyfriend after like 2 months. In these months I was the primary caregiver of my SD5, when she came back she didn't fully "get back in the game" as she didn't have a car... etc, so she didn't see her daughter all that much.

We are planning on moving to another city, 35 minutes away from where we live, because crime rates in this area are high, this is a bad area o live in, although it has a lot of things really close. Schools are better in the area in which we are planning on buying a house in which SD will have her own room. Right now, she doesn' have a room at BM's boyfriend's house, she sleeps on the couch.

Communication has been awful in this, what I see as the "ideal" situation for the child, because, we manage to pick/drop SD at her prek, as the school is close, and is easy for anybody o pick her up or drop her off from anybody's house. But NO, BM does not know how to communicate, she always has a lot to say but never really "communicates", if you know what i mean. She also wants SD to live with her (I guess she wants Child support? because she can't even support herself?) she is NOT being realistic!!!! and keeps saying that SD5 has two homes, although she doesn't have a room over there, and she (SD) clearly acknowledges this as her home, and that other house as "bm's boyfriend's house", when she draws her "family" she draws DH,BS, Me and her, she also draws her. She Does draw her mom with her sometimes, but nobody else's and does not acknowledge the picture as "her family".

DH has had a stable job as a teacher for the last 4 years. I'm a stay at home mom, therefore I can care for her, she also love her "brother" to death and many times misses him.

After several issues with the way thing have been handled, and the lack of communication, DH and I decided to go legal for the first time!, BM keeps saying "go ahead pay the lawyer, I am not paying anything". But only if we DO move to that house, because things would change drastically. OK, fine, since it DOES look like we will be getting that house.

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Q: The thing is that we don't really know where to go, and how to move. I want information about the power a Mediator has, the costs, and every detail possible.

Our ideal situation would be for us to have SD5 weekdays, and 2 or 3 weekends at month, and BM have her 2 or three weekends a month, and maybe some afternoons.

Since we will be living far from each other, this "crazy arrangement" of "you have her two days, and then i have her the next 2 and then... blah blah" wouldn't work.

How do you go ahead and contact a mediator...!!!

Thanks in advance!