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fightingred's picture

Submitted by fightingred on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 5:43pm

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Hi, I'm new to the site. I felt the need to find an outlet for my anxiety in dealing with my DH, SS and BM. DH was losing his job and searched for a year. An out of state company called him and interviewed him and offered him the job. It was a difficult decision, because since we got married we were the stable environment for SS, and we had just had a daughter and she was not 2 months old when we moved.

Anyway, BM filed for modification of joint parenting agreement and DH got paperwork and called BM attorney directly. He was not going to get an attorney and I told him that I would feel more comfortable with him having an attorney protecting him and SS. He got one and but during discussion with attorney it was indicated that it might be difficult for him to keep joint legal custody of SS. He sounds resentful of my insistence that he get an attorney. He acts like he thought he could get more without an attorney.

I am anxious, because I am on the outside looking in on his dealings with child support/custody/visitation. I thought I was helping him when I told him he needed an attorney.

CrystalRE's picture

Submitted by CrystalRE on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 9:38am

We just finished with our custody battle with my husband ex last week. Believe me when I say you were right in suggesting a lawyer. It is too easy to be taken advantage of by opposing counsel in you dont have someone telling you what your rights are. Depending on how much stability you have provided for the kids, it might not be as bad as he thinks. My husband and I got everything we wanted for the kids. It costs a LOT of money and the heartache is at time unbearable but it happens and you have to protect yourself and the best interests of the kids.

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 9:52am

Your stepparenting community(family).

Like most of the people in your other posts. Find second opinions, do not just go by the first thing you find.
And there is no possible way in which a lawyer would have been bad, unless that made BM get upset or something.
Dirol
~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's

fightingred's picture

Submitted by fightingred on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 4:55pm

Thank you for the warm welcome.

I think DH is nervous that by getting a lawyer it would make BM angry. And with her mood swings, it might be possible. But, I don't think her lawyer thought all her demands were reasonable or that they'd be successful in getting them all.

DH has retained a lawyer. It's now in the courts hands.

fightingred's picture

Submitted by fightingred on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 4:58pm

DH believes that family court is not level. I thought that an attorney would help him. He believes that whether he has an attorney or not he's going to get screwed. His only reason, really, for not getting an attorney is the fact that he doesn't want to get stuck with a huge bill and lose things.