Hi I'm a new member here. I met my husband back in 1997 and we married in 1999. His ex-wife just up and left him in 1996 took the daughter and dog and split. Then we met and got married. The daughter who was 9 at the time we met she's the only child and basically could come and visit when ever she wanted. Her Mother commited herself to a recovery complex for drug and alchol abuse where she stayed for the next 2 years shortly after husband and I met. During those first 2 years it was hell. I never had children and all the sudden I've got one. During this time if SD didn't like something I said or did she would say she wanted to go to her Aunts or Grandma and Grandpa's (her Moms) house. So over the years I always felt this kid doesn't like me. Hubby and her Mom never had stricked visitations SD would just say I want to go here or there. So that was the beginning of it all. Over the next few years Hubby and I moved out of their matrimonial home. I'II speed it up a few years. SD is now 18 and in college...............

The last time hubby and I seen SD was in August. We were to take SD to college on Sept. 4 to move in. Her Mom was to take her on the 3rd. and we were suppose to bring up what we had of hers on the 4th. Her Mom had met a new guy. Moving along here....We get an email from SD asking if she can come and pick up the stuff that we were to take for her on the 4th.........Hubby decides we were going to just pack up the truck and take it all to her Moms "everything". We get there and ask her is your Mom going to use Grandpa's truck to move everything? SD says no my Mom's boyfriend is taking his van trailer and Mom is driving her car and they are going to move me up there. So hubby and I suddenly feel like a ton of bricks come tumbling down on us! Moving along.......Since SD is going to college SD gets the support that was given to her Mom every month ok. So Hubby says what's your Mom going to do, stay here or move somewhere? SD just says I don't know. Turns out the very next day her mom is moving into her new boyfriends house, which is an hour away from here!.............

So that was the last time we seen SD, the only time we hear from her is when she wants something. She comes down to the area every weekend to see her boyfriend who I believe just can't live without her because he's in univercity in the city which is 1 1/2 hrs away from here and she goes to school 3 1/2 hours from here. He drives to pick her up on a Friday and takes her back on the Sunday. Maybe it's love who knows with them 2. They have been going together for 3 or 4 years and we have only seen him maybe 5 times if that. ...........................

So the only time we hear from SD is when she wants something. This week Hubby has gone hunting for the week. I all the sudden get emails on a almost daily basis from SD. What do you guys want for Xmas. I'm off for Xmas holidays from Dec 8 to Jan. 8. can I come for a week or so? Oh by the way, I picked up my tuition bill it's due on Nov. 24th total is $4700.00 I want it put into my account so I can pay it. So now all the sudden we have this kid suddenly wants to come here and stay, huh wonder why?? Could it be because her Mom lives an hour away with her new boyfriend, and SD knows no one there but them. Or could it be because SD wants to use our house as a bus stop because all her friends are down here and she needs a place to stay?..........

So I pick up the phone and I call her, small talk first, then I asked her what's the real reason why you want to come and stay here? She said to visit, I asked her again she said to visit. I then said, I think it's because your mom lives with her boyfriend in the city (and Oh by the way we know she moved there even though you said you did't know what she was doing. Even though your mom would have given notice to her landlord the month you left to go to college)..and you don't know anybody there. So you want to stay here for Xmas for your week or so, so you can party. I don't think your thinkiing about us and how we may feel to know that you want to come and visit like you say then turn around and use our house as a bus stop. Then I said that I think I better give you a heads up and let you know your Dad wants you putting out resumes during your holidays. She all the sudden says Oh yes I'm doing that too. In one email I asked her whats your plans while on vacation? She said oh stay with you guys, visit with friends that I havn't seen since before college and catch up on some sleep. Nothing about looking for a job.

This is a kid who couldn't be bothered to sit down and write a cover letter for a $500.00 schallership award coming from where her dad works! He asked her why she didn't apply for it and her reply was Oh theres lots of awards I could apply for, so maybe someone else could use it! This was $500.00 she may have gotten and just threw out the door! Her dad told her last spring if you want to go to college your helping. You got to go and get a job, so one of her friends gets her a job as a "smoothie girl". Because it's in a area where they rely on good weather she hardly worked all summber long. That's ok, but when she sits and bitches about no money and you say to her go and find another job she won't. This is a kid who and never found a job on her own she's relyed on everybody else for find one for her. I'II be surprised if she lands a job with what shes taken a college.

I could go and and on but I've got to run along I've got an appt. soon. What do you think about what I said above? Maybe I was a bitch but I've just about had it with her. She lost my respect the day she just said "I don't know" when her dad asked about her Mom. She basically lied right there, so if she did it to her dad then what has she lied about in the past.

Thanks so much,