Just wondering what others think about this
dh's ex just bought her 16 year old son a new truck.... guess she plans to make payments from the child support. (?)
what do you think of buying a 16 year old a new car, more so when your not rich ( his ex is not rich)
and why would someone do that ? trying to buy the kids love and control him ????
won't this screw him up mentally, in making him think these things are easy to come by?
I mean I can see no good to come from this... do you ?
she also bought the daughter who is now 19 a new car when she turned 16.... the daughter still drives it, still living at homem, doing nothing expcet having boys sleep over ( she's 19 now) and working part time as a waitress ( a waitress with an expensive sportscar.. hahaha)
yeah
seems to me, she is trying to buy their love and trust, which she very well may. his daughter was here about 6 weeks ago pitching a fit about all she has "rights" too.
I'm thinking this is going to backfiure on dh';s ex...
as now the 19 year old will want a new car too, since she has already voiced how hers is "dinged up now" and of course that is due to no fault of her own ( lol)
seems excessive to me too... more so since his ex isn't rich and already has 4 cars in her name.
Mu husband says cars are not part of child support and if she wants to buy them for the kids, she is going to have to do it alone and make the payments alone, pay the insurance alone and
he is not having anything to do with it.
This weekend we will be talking to dh's family ( his parents)... will be interesting to see what they have to say about this.
so far since his daughter getting a new car at 16, all it's done is improve her social life ( all the guys will go out with her to have sex and drive her car, but none of the guys stays around more than a few months)
his daughter is almost 20 and still lives with mom, works part time waiting tables and parties all night. I can see buying her a new car at 16 did her no good, so wondering why she buys the 16 year old one too?
kinda crazy to me.
New car at 16?
No way, Jose! I'm 34 and I have YET to own a brand spanking new car. Well, I'd have to have gillions more in disposable income to feel it is justified. I can't bring myself to buy something that depreciates by a third the minute you drive it off the lot. No thanks! I'd rather buy that car that someone else just drove off the lot a minute ago and is now a third cheaper. I think it's just silly unless you have more money than you know what to do with.
And for a teenager, fugettaboutit! It seems SD19 sure has her sense of entitlement a little skewed thanks to things coming so easy to her. Maybe in 3 years they'll both still be living with BM, working in food service and crying how they need new cars again.
true
In 3 years and in 10 years both kids will be close to 30 and I bet they will still be living with mom, after all.....
what ? is the incentive? to move away and grow up for them?
nothing !
They will just fight and fuss all day long over who drives what and want more and more. I'd say Dh's ex has a good recipe for creating lil monster adults.
To note: my husband and I both have incomes of over 100K a year
and so does his ex ( with her child support, she makes about 100K)
the difference is... his ex feels its ok to buy the kids expensive toys and we don't, because we have different values.
Both dh and I were people who made it on our own in life
and his ex
is someone who married to make it on her own. Ex is going to end up broke and never be able to retire. Hope she likes buying the kids expensive things, as she has just made her bed and let them know thats what she will do... for the rest of her life I guess.
( my point is, its not about the money, but the principal, why give kids everything and kill their desire to get on their own 2 feet and buy their own things)
His daughter is a lil brat, 19 year old hussy girl who has already become jaded and bitter with men as she has slept around so much and been dumped so many times- she is a very unpleasent person who is cruel and nasty, she acts like she is a 40 year old drunken prostitue.
I hope his son does not go in that direction but I feel he is being raised to be a very selfish person and will not be husband material, he will always be a mommas boy and only use and abuse woman.
Thats how I see it.
I do not know of anyone in my lifetime, who was spoiled by parents who turned out to be a well adjusted, resposnible person... not in all my 50 years on this earth.
Maybe it works for some, but no one I know of or have heard of this form of bribery parenting.
When his ex has spent all her money and falls on her ass, wants her kids to help her later in life, they will just trample over her so she will hurry up and kick the bucket so they can sell her stuff and split it.
No honor amoung thiefs and losers.
My bright spot in all this is my husband isn't falling for any of it and really understands what his daughter is like, more so since I showed him her myspace page. After 3 days of reading her posts and blogs, seeing her pictures....
he said he was done with her and playing games. She wrote many times on her myspace profile how much she HATES HATES HATES him and how she loves her mother.
That woke him up.
Thank you myspace for helping us to rid ourselves of his loud, ignorant daughter who was about to swoop into our lives and cause us nothing but grief. We found her out as we read what her plans were. I also thank God she isn't smart to post all that crap on myspace HAHAHA!
Recipe for disaster
We all know how responsible male teen drivers are, don't we? I guarantee it there will come a day he will be showing off, hot-dogging as I call it, and crash (literally) and burn.
Big mistake. Big. HUGE!
I think
if she can pay for it- it's her choice to do it....lot's of people buy their kids cars, many even brand new ones.....my kids won't get that- but to each their own...
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
At least
your husband is not a fool and is not getting suckered in to paying for any of these things. If the mom wants to go spend her money and buy them cars then that is her business - the kids are just going to grow up and be self-entitled brats. At least your hubby was not the one that enabled them - the kids will probably treat him with more respect and probably treat the BM like crap.
Im going today to buy
my soon to be 16 year old a car. Its not new, its a 2003. So Im not paying a fortune for it. Im paying more then I did for my first car and it looks a whole lot better. BUT my daughter lost her father when she was 7 so I have been able to save a large sum of money for her for things such as a car and college etc. She would NEVER get a new car being an unexperienced driver!!
Poor people
buy their kids new cars. Rich people know that the kid has to earn it.
I bought my 3 kids "used" cars. They had to maintain a B average in high school to get it. All three used the car to commute to college. My oldest drove it to college & lawschool. When she graduated from lawschool she bought a "new" Toyota. I had no problem with any of them.
My sister bought her son a used car at 16----he got ticket after ticket. He wasn't mature enough to take on the responsibilty.
Giving them a "new" car is sending the wrong message.
here is some info I found online...
I looked up what it had to say in the bible about spoiling kids, really did some study on it. It basically says spoiled kids are foolish and have the traits of fools... says that in spoiling kids, it increases their evil desires, increases their imagination ( in a bad way) and increases their boldness to do evil. Says they will not respect you, have trouble in personal relationships as they are unable to compromise ( my way or no way thinking)... that without boundries, they feel lost.
I fully expect them to experience violent crime too as the mother lets men sleep over and the daughter to have sex with them and been doing this since age 15, despite our protesting.
Says they will lose all respect for anyone they see as in authority, teachers, police, etc....
YOU CAN GOOGLE THE SUBJECT and do your own research on the topic of spoiled kids.
I can see that happening as stepdaughter acts like a 40 year old drunken prositiute and she is only 19 ( she looks older too ) from all the party, drinking, sex and guys dumping her, she is aging fast and very bold, even when totally foolish and ignornant. THE GOOD PART ABOUT THIS IS DH is not the one doing it and all the shame and expense, embarrasment and grief will fall upon the one who is spoiling them, their mother, who is the one who deserves it. In the next 3 to 4 years I expect dh's ex's world to come crashing down. The 16 year old boy gets one drinking and driving ticket and dh's ex's insurance will go sky high and soon she will lose everything or the kids ( monsters) she is creating will take it from her.
I suspect dh's ex to be robbed for sure, as she has some nice jewelry sitting in a box on her dresser, one of the daughters many men will sure get that.
we will not be involved in any of their nonsense in any way. Far as the boy getting a new car, I feel that was wrong and she should burden all the cost and expense as well as any trouble resulting from it as she is the one who made the choice to give hinm a new car.