Will the crap ever end?

Backstory: the Harpee filed false abuse charges against SO, the court battle went in his favor, they now have 49/51% time split. She then moved to the middle of nowhere, refuses to get a job, and is constantly trying to change the skids school to the middle of nowhere where she lives, and where 2 of her "new family" members are teachers. Give the location and scheduling and the fact that her new inlaws run the school this will effectivly cut SO out of their lives.

SHE didn't want the kids in daycare on SO's time, so they stipulated that she would pick the kids up, take them to and from school and basically be the daycare while SO works. Since she is not a responsible adult, it was also stipulated that if she was late 2x, SO could find daycare as she would make him late for work. It took less than 6 months for her to blow that and be late 2x. There are 4 Sboys ages 2-8. SO and I live an hour apart form each other.

She remarried to a HS flame and now lives about 30 minutes from SO and the kids school.

SO now the Harpee has filed for a custody mod and more cs because she is the "daycare" and "can't find work" because she has the kids on his time. (we know this is BS because she has always worked under the table for a friend) She is also trying again to change their school (which is stupid- this issue has been ruled on already and she was told no...... twice.)

SO has now found his own child care and took them to meet the provider. The skids are excited and looking forward to going. (The harpee isolates them and only ever has them around her family- no friends, nothing that she can't control) The harpee can't go 24 hours without the kids- she has to call at least twice and tried her damdest to upset them. Even if she is going to see them in a matter of hours she still calls and freaks out if she can't talk to them RIGHT NOW.

SO was advised by his lawyer to get the kids into daycare on his time- if she wants to bitch about something that was HER idea and having to drive when SHE MOVED and having the kids on his time is SUCH A PROBLEM then he is happy to fix that for her.

SKids of course told BM about how excited they were... so she is now threatening to call the police if he won't give her the skids on HIS TIME!

I love SO, he is a great man and treats me well. However, I am having trouble getting past our past choices. I can't move due to my custody situation, he can't move for the same reason, and I get that. I'm not willing to give up my time with my kiddos and I don't expect him to give his up either. However, my ex is an inactive crazy (there is a flare up with him maybe every 2-3 months) while the harpee is crazy and harrasive all.the.time.

So where do we go from here? There will never be a retirement, etc. from his end because he has 5 kids and the youngest is 2. I can't move, neither can he, so we both struggle because we can't combine resources. The skids are mostly good kids, but there are some major behavior problems due to BM and her crap, and he has to reprogram them every time they come over. My kids don't have the same severity of issues that the skids have, (they are not issue free, but their stuff is way less severe) and I really don't want mine picking up crap from them.

I find myself wondering more often than not if I should pull the plug on the whole deal and find someone else. Then I feel like when he treats me well and our relationship stuff is good, it is just logistics that suck that I am punishing him (and possibly myself) is unfair.
This whole things blows.