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Ready to pull out my hair

slpvb's picture

Submitted by slpvb on Sat, 02/23/2013 - 9:11pm

My dh has custody of 12daughter. Ex was preg with another child but was cheating on him. Found out 4 yrs ago the child is my hubs. Ex left SD at age 3 didn't come back around until we moved in together. Then after visiting for about 6 months finally brought child two around...finally we got wind that child two was his and ex quickly moved states. Now sd12 is having issues w abandonment and is being a holy terror. Bm keeps filling her head w mumbo jumbo that she has the choice to pick who she wants to live with now that shes 12, but due to the circumstances in divorce decree and bm mental state..shes isnt technically allow to see her unless supervised. SD has been cutting herself, saying she's depressed, I'm at Whits end! I know she's blaming me for her actions by saying i yell at her too much and that I treat child 2 like a princess, Whom we see twice a yr. Sd12 is driving me nuts...either up or down in a split second. Has to be center of attention whether good or bad, just like her Bi polar BM. She's driving me crazy.. I want to give up and send her ass to her BM but I know that would just cause her to be even worse off! Anyone else going through anything like this?

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dad'swife's picture

Submitted by dad'swife on Sat, 02/23/2013 - 9:19pm

My son's biodad is unstable. A drug addict, liar, makes false promises etc. Now he lives across country but when he lived close my son would visit with him. When he came back he was a TERROR. It was like we had to reprogram him. Awful. Luckily ex moved to another state thousands of miles away, and barely calls or visits.

I feel like just hearing their absent parent's voice sets them off. I can never pinpoint what the issue is but there's a part that feels they have a place to run to when we are being "mean", they now have an ally against you, the mean one, and that one phone call a month or whatever proves that they do love them, unlike what we think.

12 is a weird age. Add what she is going through with her mom and it probably torture. I would suggest counseling for her immediately, especially if she is cutting herself. There has to be a better way for her to deal with her BM popping in and out like that.